As you all probably know by now, I have a long-standing feud with ESPN College GameDay co-host Lee Corso. I continue to loathe him with every fiber of my being, and he continues to outwardly act as if he has no idea who I am. The nerve.
My alma mater’s football team, the USC Trojans, got off to such a rocky start this season that I knew there was no chance College GameDay would visit the school. Frankly, I was okay with that. Not many people know this, but having a sworn life enemy is exhausting. I thought having a year off would be good – give me some me time, you know?
But Corso, he can’t stay away. When it was announced last week that the show was going to broadcast from the USC Campus, I made sure to clear my schedule for the entire week. I’d already had a vision of the perfect sign and I knew I’d need a full five days to construct it. Unfortunately, my kids were like, “Um, mom? We need food and also attention?” so I wasn’t able to get around to making my sign until Thursday. It really was a no-brainer: Two of America’s most polarizing celebrities, together as one:
I’d really wanted to construct a Miley body that actually twerked, but I found it impossible to find an image that was large enough, taken from the correct angle, and did not cost thousands of dollars. I understand photographers gotta eat, but why don’t any of them offer a parody discount? They should look into that untapped market.
My mom thought it would be fun to come along, so she and I met my friend Derek at 7am. This year the show started broadcasting an hour earlier, or 6am local time (yuck). However, Corso is only on the show for the final two hours, that lazy son of a gun. The show was filming from USC’s actual campus for the first time (previous editions were filmed by the football stadium), but it didn’t end up changing our game plan.
We decided to go right for Enemy #1 and positioned ourselves behind Corso. On the wide shot, we could see we were on, but impossible to read.
As always, the key is patience. Eventually, the cameras went to a tight shot and bam:
Herbstreit is like, “Damn, look at those stems!”
I had foam board on the back of my sign to help keep its shape. I think Corso was counting on my arms getting tired, but never fear: I’ve been working out.
Everyone kept telling me the sign was going to get taken away, but it never was. I think it’s because the “Sign Police” thought the sign was funny, and Corso liked everyone seeing his sexy legs.
Walking around with this sign was like walking around with an actual famous person. Everyone was looking at it, and everyone was taking its picture. I was probably stopped about forty times by different people requesting a photo (including one of the official show sponsors, cough Cheez It cough), to say nothing of the probably hundreds of people (according to my mom) who just snapped a picture as I strolled by. Was all the attention because the sign was glorious? Or was it simply because everyone was happy to see Corso get his due? I think we all know the answer.
As the show was drawing to an end, we made our way to the back of the crowd and came upon the GameDay bus. We saw the cameras setting up a shot and decided to wait it out.
Let me zoom in for you:
Do you see how close I was to your dressing room, Lee?
All good things must come to an end, and that meant saying goodbye to Mi-Lee. I didn’t want to lug the sign back to my house, but I didn’t want to throw it away. So instead, I left it propped up on a light fixture right outside the GameDay bus…
…right where Corso would see it when he walked back to his dressing area. The sign might have said, “Mi-Lee Corso Twerks For USC,” but its eyes said, “Heather Spohr Was Here.” I knew Corso would see it and understand.
When I reached the roof of the parking structure my car was in, I looked back down at her one more time.
‘Til next year, Corso.
Previous Corso Vs. Spohr installments:
Corso Vs. Spohr
Corso Vs. Spohr II
Corso Vs. Spohr III
Corso Vs. Spohr IV
Brilliant, Heather. That put a smile on my face this Monday morning. I love reading the latest installments of your feud with Lee Corso. I definitely think that you are ahead.
I totally saw your sign all over Instagram, before I knew it was yours!!!
Haha….I thought of you, as I stood watching the Michigan Band in practice, freezing my arse off. I think a gameday in Cali would be supah! to attend. Nicely done!
What a riot! When are you going to write a book? Your writing is absolutely hilarious!
I love a girl who knows how to carry a grudge!
This is the best one yet!! My husband (big sports dude) is going to crack up when he sees this! Hilarious!
I thought of you immediately when we turned on College Game Day on Saturday. I didn’t see your sign because we had errands to run but I knew you were there because he was there. Excellent sign!
Yes!! You rock!!!!
I love your dedication! Great sign and thanks for the laugh on a Monday morning!
I am a HUGE USC Trojans fan and I saw your sign on Game Day. Honestly, you had one of the best signs I have ever seen. Genius! I personally think it was your sign that lead us to such an epic victory. FIGHT ON!!!
Funny & creative
BEST. SIGN. YET! Heather you rock! LOL
Michelle H says:
HA! Oh my gosh, I totally cracked up when I saw this sign on College Game Day! I thought of you and wondered whether you’d made it there to continue your feud… now I have my answer!
Best sign I saw during the show, hands-down.
Love your ongoing feud with the Corso (that’s what we call him here at the other USC). And great win by your team Saturday. I couldn’t pull for you until Kiffen was fired but now I’m good to go.
cindy w says:
My favorite thing about your first picture is the woman behind you who is squinting disapprovingly at your sign. Or maybe she’s jealous. (Most likely.)
Well played, Spohr. Well played.
Mary Brock says:
I look forward to your Corso post every season. This is the best one yet!!! You are so creative in everything you do!! Pure genius!!
Heather, you are my HERO!!!
HAHA!!! Love it. The Corso v. Spohr Chronicles are some of the best things on the internet!
You know you’re on a list somewhere, right?
Dude, I’m sick with a cold and your sign just made me snort so much snot out of my nose. Your Corso posts are my favorite… although I can’t believe it’s already been a whole year?! since the last one.
Hahahahah! Actual LOLing. You are hilarious!
Amazingly hilarious!! The things you come up with, I swear. You are so much fun to know
Hilarious! I love your dedication!
But what will you do with your free time when Corso retires, presumably upon his passing (isn’t he like 500 years old already?). That is, assuming he doesn’t return as Zombie Corso…
I thought of you Saturday as well and loves that sign! I am an Oregon Duck for life so I was rooting my fool head off for USC in Saturday!!
That sign = Amazing.
This sign was pure genius!! Good work, Heather!!
I hate USC, but I love watching you take on Corso.
I live for these Game Day posts!! Bravo on another outstanding sign & for sticking it to Corso. Now to share this one w/ my dad!
You know I need to get a life when I see my boys are watching college game day, realize it’s from USC, and I am looking for your sign. Really, I need to get off the computer!
LD's Mom says:
That is so awesome. Well played!
Heather you have out done yourself. Good luck next year because this is going to be hard to beat! I am still laughing out loud!
Cynthia Woodmansee says:
We are a household of huge USC fans and this was so hilarious. You are such a witty one! I love your blog!
Hahaaa!!! I have shown all of your old Corso posts to my husband and he thinks they are hilarious! We saw the USC game and that Corso was on on Saturday and we wondered if you were there and kept rewinding and pausing to see if we could see a sign that might be yours. Then I remembered you don’t blog on weekends so we had to patiently wait for today to see if you’d been there. I just jolted my husband awake (he’s wearing a Scratch from Ice Age sleep mask too – I kid you not) to show him your sign. He wasn’t mad that I woke him up and it was worth the wait! Your sign was awesome! So funny!!!
When watching Gameday, I wondered which sign was yours. We totally saw it! How awesome! We love it! I’ve been to Gameday many times at Alabama & it’s always fun. Roll Tide!
I really don’t understand this “feud” with Corso. It seems very bizarre to me. Yes, I’ve read the back-story but the whole thing escapes me. Sports related antagonism and hero-worship seems very weird.
It’s not meant to be taken seriously! It’s all in good fun.
Love it!! Been waiting for this post!!
That is SOOO funny! It’s going to be a tough one to beat!
LOVE IT! I told my husband to help look out for which sign I thought might be yours! He thinks I am crazy now
Loved it! We are die hard Duck fans so of course were cheering on your Trojans! At least he put on the Trojan gear! hee hee
Dude that was your sign?? I saw it everywhere! You’re the best.