Ah Lee Corso. We meet again.
Our relationship began eight college football seasons ago, when Corso tried to get me arrested. He may have been “defending his honor” or “stopping rumors” or whatever, but that was the day he made an enemy for life.
He’s visited me several times since that cold December day, but with my USC Trojans playing like doody this year I knew the chances were slim the College GameDay show would come to Los Angeles. But the Sunday before Thanksgiving I received 187 text messages in the space of thirty seconds and I knew without even looking at any of them that Corso was coming. I felt the bile rise from my stomach, and as I ran for the bathroom I cursed Corso instead of my morning sickness.
This past Saturday I rose before dawn, tossed back a handful of Zofran, and met up with my friends Derek and Brianne outside the LA Memorial Coliseum. I had two signs for Corso this year. The first one is something I can totally see happening:
It would be just like Corso to pick that grinchy green bastard over Santa Claus.
The second sign is something I shout at the TV every week after Corso rambles on with another pointless story:
Cool story, Corso. Not.
In year’s past we’ve stood to the far left or right, behind Desmond Howard or Kirk Herbstreit. But this year, we decided to stay more towards the middle. There’s a big screen to the right of the GameDay stage, so we could see that while our signs were on the wide shot, they were unreadable.
And then, right after Corso told one of his trademark lame stories, the producers cut to this shot:
It was then I realized that while Corso may be my enemy, the producers are my friends.
We normally leave after our signs have been on TV, but we stuck around for the full two hours of the show. It was too much fun standing right behind Corso.
The security was noticeably lax this time. I didn’t see any signs get confiscated, and there were several that would have gotten me into hot water in years’ past. Maybe Corso is losing his step. Or maybe the security goons decided they’d rather be on Team Spohr.
At the end of October, Corso signed a contract extension through the 2014 season. He may not have sent any security guards after me this time, but he’d better have them at the ready over the next two years.
I’m coming for you, Lee Corso! You’re my enemy…for life!