I live in a city that is obsessed with Preschool.
OK, maybe all cities are like this, I just know the one I live in is REE DICK YOU LUSS. Like, sign-your-kid-up-for-preschool-as-soon-as-you-pee-on-a-stick ridiculous.
Or is this normal?
I’m really quite clueless. But the other day I was in the daycare at my gym, and two moms were talking about preschool. One of them had a child that was only three-ish months and the other was hugely pregnant, and the three-month old and the unborn baby were already enrolled in the same preschool!
Here’s the thing…I feel like I have to whisper this…I didn’t go to preschool. GASP! I know. I am basically uneducated. My parents made the decision to not send my brother or me because that’s what felt right to them. There were tons of kids in the neighborhood for us to socialize with, and we could read and all that.
I think that preschool now is probably different than when I was a kid, and Mike and I are pretty sure we want Annabel to go and experience it and learn from others. But seriously, do I need to sign her up already? Because I don’t know where I’m gonna be in two months, let alone two years. How do I know where to sign her up? And how expensive is preschool? And when is she supposed to start? And how do I know what a “good” preschool is? And what is she supposed to learn there? AND WHY IS PRESCHOOL MAKING MY BRAIN HURT?!
Nelly says:
Wow preschool does sound like a headache! I dont think we have anything like it in England…
We all start school at age 4.
Some kids go to a nursery/ daycare before hand if parents work etc…
Sounds like a pretty competitive thing though, good luck!
Emily says:
Nursery School is our equivalent of preschool. Most kids go to nursery school. Daycare is much more to do with parents working. Nursery School tends to be a couple of times a week either in the morning or the afternoon. And it can be very competitive to get into certain Nursery Schools in England, just the same as it is preschool in the US.
harriet says:
I live in England, and nursery is the same as pre-school and not only for working parents. My niece starts in September and she is three.
Jennifer Joyner says:
Ugh…the politics of preschool. I hate it, but it’s necessary. Kindergarten is NOT what it used to be…my daughter went to public kindergarten (GASP!) and had an hour of homework every night. IN KINDERGARTEN. First grade is even worse! Both of my kids went to preschool, thank goodness, because I really feel as though they would have been behind…not to mention the need for them to learn to listen to other adults, how to interact with other kids, etc. There are lots of different approaches to preschool, but what has worked best for us is “play-based” programs…everything they learn is through play. I say let them play while they can because they certainly won’t get to when they go to regular school. And I started them at age 2…two days for 2 year olds, 3 days for 3 year olds and when they were 4, they went 5 days a week….all three hours a day. Good luck!!
amy says:
An HOUR of homework in kindergarten?! Unreal…
Lisa says:
My 3 year old in preschool gets homework if you can believe that!
michele says:
Preschool is a wonderful place for your child to socialize…taking turns, learning to share, being kind with peers. With some structure (certain times to read a story,play in the sand box, make a craft), but focusing on free play, Annie will have the time of her life!
In my opinion, kindergarten is where they really begin to learn the other stuff (letters, numbers), and the preschool setting helps them adjust to life in kingergarten, especially following rules.
While you can do 2 years of preschool, one year is sufficent. Check places out, see how structured they are, how clean the place is…how they handle “time outs.”
Good luck! My kids brought home the sweetest crafts from preschool!
michele from maine
Audra says:
Oh, I love the crafts too! For Christmas my 2 year old made me a votive candle holder with snowmen painted all around it…and the snowmen were made from her little fingerprints.
Lisa says:
In my son’s preschool, they are learning numbers and letters. (He’s 3). The 4 year olds are being taught to read.
Lynn from For Love or Funny says:
Now that one of my kids is in high school and the other in middle school, I see that all my angst over preschool didn’t have to happen. I didn’t want to send my kids to preschool. Eventually, I sent them for a few hours when they were 4, but they have grown up to do extremely well…even though they didn’t spend their formative hours in a classroom setting.
Susan says:
I SO totally agree with Lynn. Preschool is fun for the kids and if they don’t have the opportunity to be around other kids their age, it’s a great tool for socialization. But as far as preparing them for the rigors of kindergarten, forget it. I have two kids in college. The oldest went to preschool for a year before starting kindergarten and the youngest went for the two years before kindergarten. I have had a home daycare since my youngest child was born so my older child had other young children around her, in her home, from the time she was 16 months old. I put her into preschool because, as the oldest kid in my house of little ones, she was getting a little bossy. When each of them hit kindergarten, there were kids at all different levels of learning. My daughter didn’t even know the alphabet but my son had taught himself to read when he was 3. By the time those kids were about halfway through their kindergarten year, they were all (preschool or no preschool) at the same level.
Don’t let those over-achieving moms intimidate you. The best person to make decisions about your child is YOU.
Audra says:
I’m not sure about the preschool politics of a big city like LA. Where I live, people start worrying about it in the fall of the year before the child starts…and I thought that was really early. Personally, I’m a HUGE fan of Montessori. Both of my girls (2 and 4) go to a Montessori preschool that we are all really happy with. The materials that they work with at school are really different from their toys at home, but easy to recreate when they particularly enjoy something. The simplest things really help to build fine motor skills, etc. At 2 M has a blast using a little pair of tongs to transfer little puff balls from one container to another and pin punch. At 4, F knows some Spanish and all of the continents. These things were learned in a fun, relaxed way…not a high pressure ohmygodyouneedtoknowthisnoworyourgoingtobelivinginavandownbytheriver sort of way,
Libby says:
I didn’t go to preschool either, Heather! Shout it. My family lived in a very, very small town when I was growing up and preschool simply wasn’t offered. I jumped right into Kindergarten and as far as I can tell, I became a relatively well-adjusted person.
Now, when it comes to your actual problem I am of no use to you. But non-preschoolers represent!
Superkitty says:
We live in LA and we didn’t have to enroll my daughter – we just showed up and filled out forms. The least I saw preschool for in our area is $780 a month, but many are much more.
Procrastamom says:
My eyes just bugged out of my head at that number! The MOST I paid for preschool (3 year old, 3 days a week) was $90 (sure it’s been ten years since my youngest went, but that is steep!). I would expect to pay $780 for full-time daycare, but I would never pay what is essentially half a mortgage/rent payment for preschool. That’s more costly than private school.
CorningNY says:
HALF of a mortgage payment?! For me, $780 would be my mortgage plus gas and electric payments. Then again, this is definitely NOT LA! Thank goodness…!
Summer says:
780?!?! For freaking preschool?!? That is INSANE. I would never pay that much. Daycare for an infant (which costs the most) is less than that. Wow.
My son knows his ABC’s the sounds they make, how to count to 15, and can recognize all of those, his colors and his shapes. He is only 2 and I didn’t TRY to teach him any of this. If you just play with your kids they’ll learn.
Elizabeth says:
ok, we pay 1400 a month for preschool in west LA, but it is all day long (if you want) so it doubles as daycare (in my mind anyway). I think our place is a great deal, as many people pay quite a bit more and get less time at school. They teach nothing, it is more for socialization (and in my case so I can go to work). I signed up after my three month ultrasound, they found a space for my son 2.5 years later – and we were on a priority list b/c my older son was already enrolled.
I am sure there are lots of great places, I am lazy and this school is at the university where my husband works so it made our life easier. That said, not sure it is totally necessary.
Thurieyyah says:
I also didnt go to pre-school – just went straight to grade 1 when I turned 6 (back in the day her in Old SA it was known as Sub A) and I did quite well (or so all my teachers thought) – Times have changed between then and now – and I sent my son – my daughter is 2 now and Im still deciding if I should send her to nursery school – for now she’s with my MIL – and she’s doing fine.
Angela says:
I’m currently living in England and just read an article yesterday about parents hiring tutors when the kids are 2 or 3 so they can start prepping them for entrance exams to university!! Insanity!!
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23911112-parents-demand-11-plus-coaching-for-two-year-olds.do
Tracey says:
So by the time they are 6y/o they are seeing a psychologist to deal with stress disorders???
Kids need to be kids. They have their entire lives to go to school and work.
I live in Canada and I am a working Mom so my kids were in daycare. They developed their social skills there as well as learned (colors, printing etc…) It was a very nice balance of learning and playing. Both of my kids are straight A students
Casey says:
I agree w/Tracey. A lot of people here (I live in ND) send their children to preschool, but it’s not a huge deal. My 4th grader went to a month of preschool before I pulled him out. Way too structured for a 4yo and he was miserable. Turns out he got everything he needed between his regular daycare and at home. He has been a star student since kindergarten. I also have a 3 yr old and have no intention of sending him to preschool before kindergarten. He socializes at daycare, and our provider has a degree in early childhood educ so she gets in the ABCs and 123s during regular playtime. No need for us to pay extra for an over-rated preschool. I don’t give a hoot about keeping up with the Joneses.
Lisa says:
None of my five went to preschool. We “home schooled”. There’s nothing that happens in preschool that you can’t manage at home. We learned about the world by BEING in the world every day… Post office, grocery store, library, parks – we just lived life and talked about everything we saw and did. We found playmates for socializing and spent time with grandparents and other family members. We treasured those years with our kids before formal schooling started.
If you’re worried that Annie might be “behind” her peers when she does start school, arrange to meet with a kindergarten teacher and find out what they hope she will know before she starts. You know colors, numbers and ABCs… You can impart all that wisdom yourself, save money and have lots of fun memories of your time together.
LisaJ says:
You now, it isn’t like that here in So Flo, and I didn’t know it was that way in Cali. But apparently New York is wicked crazy when it comes to preschool! Hopefully some of our New Yorker peeps can fill us in. Because I don’t get it either.
I didn’t go to preschool. My kiddos have gone, but only out of necessity, which I believe is more like daycare. And while I have been able to afford the center I really want for Saeryn, the other two went to a :gasp: very inexpensive preschool and they are not mentally scarred for life.
And truth be told? As long as you can be home, in my opinion, is the bestest. Nobody is gonna love up your babies like you. I wish with all my heart that I was home with mine. But I am glad that, since I do have to work, that: 1. I can semi afford the school she is in and 2. That So Flo isn’t like New York with waiting lists–cause her current school is considered the best place to put kiddos in our area. We chose it cause-Ratios are lowest (Just 3-1 baby teacher ratio), they are developmentally appropriate, and have a coveted NAEYC certification/accreditation. All the teachers have a minimum of a 2-year degree in early childhood, and since the school is through a college, they are offered free tuition to continue their education.
As for prices–that varies. Here in the Lauderdale area, schools run, for a child Annie and Saeryn’s age, anywhere between $135 a week (and that is beyond hard to find) to over $300 a week. Most schools drop prices as age increases and ratios go up. We use our income tax every year (or plan to) to have a huge payment toward the following taken care of.
By the way, the piano picture is beyond precious. Saeryn is very musical, too. We actually took classes at the college for Music Together which is how I found the preschool. Now that I know you and your family would love.
heather m. says:
as a preschool teacher, i obviously think that preschool is super important for kiddos to develop essential skills that will prepare them for success later in life. i could go through the crazy long list, but many of the above posts have covered the essentials (ESPECIALLY PLAY!!!). what i do want to to add in a teeny attempt to help you out is that as long as she goes to a place that is full of fun and love, she will gain all of the skills that she needs! go visit a few places (eventually, not now) and go with your gut. how does it make you feel? do you want to be there? can you see her having a blast there? that’s the biggest and most important thing for any child to learn before the academics hit…that school is amazing and exciting! if you need any more help, PLEASE feel free to email me!!!
Hayley says:
My 4yo goes to school now (I’m from England!) but she went to a Montessori nursery from age 18 months, and Montessori preschool, I would definately recommend montessori, my DD learnt lots and really enjoyed the alternative methods used, she has settled straight into school and loves learning.
Lindsey says:
I think that preschool for a year or so before kindergarten can really help kids get ready for kindergarten socially. (Following group rules, obeying a teacher, getting along with a large group of other children, following a structured routine outside of the home, etc). I just think it makes the transition from home to kindergarten easier on the kids. Beyond a year before, I don’t think it’s necessary.
Since I don’t live where you live, I don’t know the rules about how far in advance you need to sign up. Maybe make a few calls and see to ease your mind.
Around here, you can sign them up just a couple weeks/months beforehand (Connecticut).
Neeroc says:
I’m not sure what pre-school is vs kindergarten, but I’m stressed out enough about having to send V to kindergarten next fall…and the registration and selection process there is enough to make my head hurt.
My mother sent me to a pre-kindergarten when I was three, but a) it was a different language (French) and b) she had 3 kids in just under 4 years *g*
Michelle says:
My oldest daughter will go to kindergarten in the fall and she hasn’t gone to preschool. I kind of keep that fact to myself, but in my heart I know she doesn’t need it. She goes to daycare part time and they work casually with her on letters, numbers, colors, etc – just like we do at home. She had her early childhood screen a few weeks ago and is way ahead of the curve. I’ve taught kindergarten and so being around her I felt comfortable not sending her and knowing that she’ll be just fine.
I say go with your gut when the time comes. You’ll know.
beth says:
I live in San Francisco which is equally obsessed with preschool. The mere idea of having to look NOW for a preschool for my three-month-old daughter makes me want to vomit. I’m not thinking about it until it’s absolutely necessary, and even then I refuse to obsess over it. No child is going to fall behind if they’re in the “wrong” preschool!
Marsha says:
The pressure of doing the right preschool around here is insane too! I have friends whose small little children are being interviewed at age 2!! Seriously. Then, they get an acceptance letter or phone call. Pressure! Not to mention that these preschools cost more than a lot of universities.
susie says:
I don’t have kids, so I don’t have any experience to share, but I will tell you that I have a friend who teaches in one of those ridiculously expensive private preschools in Manhattan. And she says it is insane!! She told me to watch a documentary that ran on Showtime – Nursery University. If you can find it, you should watch it. It was the most ridiculous thing that I have ever seen and I was in complete shock at the lengths some people will go to. It was interesting in a “I can’t believe it” kind of way. I’ll be honest: I didn’t work that hard to get into college!!!
Michelle says:
Hey Heather,
I did not go to preschool either…nor did my sister AND I live in the same preschool obsessed city you do. Don’t fall for it! I have a almost 3 year old and 18 month old boys…and neither have attended or are waiting to attend preschool as of yet. I found many of our friends eager to send theirs as soon as they were 2, but in my heart, I knew that they are this small and precious and funny for such a short time that I did not want someone else getting to spend this time with my baby. Also, many of our friends that were on “waiting lists” hated the school/teachers once they started or had to move for work and switched preschools anyway so their “years on a waitlist” were ultimately pointless. We have others mommy friends that did not get on waiting lists and have found good schools that they are very happy with within a few weeks of looking.
I went through a period, I felt I was “supposed” to be sending him to preschool. But once I accepted that it did not feel right for us, it was so freeing. When the conversation turned to preschool, I just smiled and nodded and when asked said “we had not decided yet and that I was enjoying them being at home”
My thought was they have years for school, why not let them be kids and play, and get dirty and explore and have adventures? We read, learn numbers, colors and other things, but I get to be with them and we get to go out in the world and have playdates and experience it together. I am pondering letting my oldest go a couple mornings a week in a few months (at around 3.5), but I also figure any school that we decide on, will be lucky to have us. My kids rock.
The other good news is that we live in a town with SO MANY FREAKIN’ preschools, that I believe there will always be a good one, that is right for us when the time comes and we are both ready. I say, don’t sweat it…
Jen says:
Ugh I feel the same way!!! My daughter will be ready to start preschool in the fall and I feel like it’s going to be like putting her in college!! Some of them have an application process! Really??? One pre school that friend put her daughter in had very specific questions about the child. Like “how does your child handle stress”? Um she throws her self on the floor and throws her toys! Is that the right answer? LOL
I think with this process you have to go with your gut. Go to each place that you have in mind and meet the teachers. Do this when she’s closer to the age. Here in Ma the age is 2.9. See which one she seems to feel comfortable being at when you visit, and how the teachers make you feel. Ask about curriculum and how they plan on getting her ready for public schools. Other than that I say don’t worry too much! Every child will get a good education.
My daughter will miss the cut off for the age requirement to go to kindergarden here in Ma. So she will actually get 3 years of pre school if she goes. This is a decision I am trying to figure out but I know in the end it will all work out! And it will for you!!
Stephanie says:
Preschool is insane here in DC too. I was at a Gymboree class for 16-22 month olds and one of the moms asked the teacher for a letter of recommendation for her daughter’s preschool application. How would you even write such a thing? She needed 3 letters of recommendation total – I only needed 2 to get into graduate school…
Casey says:
Letters of recommendation?! Wow, that is ridonkulous (as Heather likes to say, lol). In VA, at least where I live, you don’t need letters at all – you just need an opening, and you need to be able to pay the bill!
Casey says:
So I live in Virginia (near the City of Charlottesville), and I think our state as a whole is not nearly as obsessed as LA! That being said, we need preschool/daycare because we cannot afford for one of us to stay home (no matter how you look at the numbers!). So my two year old goes to a place called ABC Preschool, but a lot of kids here go to Preschools / Daycare centers – and most of them take kids from the age of 6 weeks to 4 years. As long as we don’t move, my daughter will be there until she starts kindergarten. And while they do teach her letters, numbers, shapes, etc, I don’t think it’s as competitive as the LA scene. And I’m sure the prices are vastly different between states (and cities!), we now pay $183 per week. I think that’s ridiculous, but it’s very normal where we live. And it’s a necessary evil with too many bills and not enough income – even without day care costs, we couldn’t afford to stay home So I say enjoy your time with Annie as much as possible, and don’t stress!
Kate says:
Preschool here is no big whoop – some send their kids reeedonkulously early, some don’t send ’em at all. There is no “fight” to get into the best one (as far as I have seen). I plan to send my boy when he is closer to age 4 – give him a year of preschool before he hits the big time….kindergarten. I enjoy having him home with me, we go to playdates and Little Gym and swimming so he has plenty to do. I dunno. I understand when people work and HAVE to get their child in a good program, but I am lucky enough to stay at home – and feel no rush to send him off to someone elses care.
Lora R says:
I didn’t go to preschool either, but I found a great one for my kids. I recommend finding a preschool that’s accredited by the National Association for the Education of Young Children. (NAEYC) If you find one like that, it will be play based, with lots of art and music and free play and gentle teachers.
Melanie says:
My daughter is 5 and goes to preschool four days a week for three hours a day. She LOVES it and her little brother can’t wait until he can go. My daughter is very smart. She knew all her letters before she was 2, reads at at least a first grade level, etc. She didn’t learn this stuff at preschool (heck, I’m not sure how she learned a lot of it) but it really encouraged her love of learning.
This is her second year of preschool. Before she started, she had NO interest in writing. She’d read books all day but she didn’t really enjoy drawing anything other than a smiley face or the sentence, “Hi Mom!”. In the weeks before preschool I worked really hard to teach her to write her name. Within a couple of weeks she was writing everything. She writes and draws all the time, sounds out words, etc. She is better at sharing and playing with others. It’s been so great that I won’t hesitate sending her little brother either next year or the following.
At her school, they have 3 tables set up when they arrive. They have an activity at each table that they have to do. Usually it is some uppercase letter activity, a craft, building materials, etc. Then they can go to the “library” while others finish. Then they have calendar, sharing, etc. Then they have free play with different stations throughout the classroom. The finish by cleaning up and having a snack. It’s pretty low stress and like I said, she loves it.
Melanie says:
I should add that preschool is not a huge deal around here at all. Most people just send their child to daycare because they have to, and most daycares have some sort of a preschool curriculum in place. The place I send my daughter is run through our city schools and it actually for children with special needs (could be physical, speech, anything your ped might suggest early intervention for) , but about half of the class are typically developing kids to serve as role models for the other children.
Jennifer says:
I’ve heard about this with bigger cities! I live in a small town/city and preschool is not an issue at all. My daughter is in daycare right now and if they aren’t able to get a preschool teacher in (which is something they are working to get), then I’ll move her to a preschool when it’s time. She’s 3… I’m glad I don’t have to worry about that! Crazy that people have to enroll unborn children in preschool….
Brandy says:
I personally wouldn’t push the preschool issue, unless you feel she is not where she should be. Most counties in the south offer free headstart if you feel your child should need it. It’s offered to three and four year olds, and goes for 6 hours a day. Being a SAHM, i sent my children when they were four, just to get them used to being around other children and teachers, but when they started Kindergarten, they were bored the entire year.
I say as long as she knows her ABC’s, numbers, colors, shapes, can write her name and recongnize most of them, she’ll be good to go in Kindergarten with no preschool.
Here, things are learned in a fun relaxed setting, none of it is really structured. There are certain times for certain things; breakfast, lunch and snack, reading, and center time- can be crafts, computer, books, math concepts, house, etc.
Annie isn’t one yet, so don’t stress too much over it.
MS says:
Hi Heather,
I went to daycare as both my parents worked, including the other half of the day that I was not in kindergarten. But it seriously has become the gold standard for a LOT of parents out there. I’m with most of your commenters, do what you and Mike think is right. Pre school or not, she will still excel in school and go to college and be a successful grown up. The biggest difference is WHAT THE PARENTS DO at home with a kid.
Seriously, your child will not be learning a single thing in pre school that you can’t teach or aren’t teaching them already. Following directions, check. Time for play vs. time for quiet activities, check. Letters, numbers, check, check. Play with others, make play dates with cousins, friends, whatever. Children that skip pre school aren’t guarenteed to be behind those that attend, because like I said above, the majority is what the parents do with their kids. Hands down. You’ll find children who attended the best pre school who turn out to fall behind in 2nd, 3rd & 4th grade due to lack of parental involvement.
I think its safe to say Annie will be just fine no matter what because she has you and Mike!
MS
Kristin says:
I was really lucky. My church has a preschool and, because of the economy, there were openings this year when I decided I wanted my youngest to attend. Here, 3 days a week in the 4 yr old class costs $160. I know it can be a LOT MORE in larger cities.
Jenn says:
I have heard preschool in places like LA and NYC is highly competitive and extremely exspensive….but what do I know, I’m Canadian!?! (Well, actually I know a whole lot but that’s beside the point). All 3 of my kids went to a 1/2 day preschool 2 days a week for my boys and 2 then the next yr, 3 monrths a week for my daughter since she had to wait an extra yr to go to school (it all depends when their b-days are). Since for 2 of my kids, I pretty much just worked mornings, my mom watched them 3 mornings and then my outlaw watched them the other 2 days (they would trade off for appointments, etc). I love our preschool. It was at a Jewish Centre even though we weren’t Jewish, there was a lot of culture there and the seniours LOVED come down to see the kids. My kids came home saying things like OY VEY! If you are concerned, I would can your child welfare office to see if any of your top 3 or 4th had any reports against them. Also, other parents are a great assest. The best by far is going to be both your and Mike’s instincts. I find if you really listen to your heart AND your head….the right answer for your family will come up.
Good Luck!!
Any centre would be lucky to have Annie as one of their clients and you and Mike as some parents!
Love,
Jenn
Kirsten says:
I don’t know what things are like in the states, but we have preschools/creches all over the place. Some are small and some are fairly big. Every primary school has a grade 0 level now (kindergarten?) as of a law that went into effect last year, but in my opinion (as a preschool teacher) it’s important to get a kid into a preschool before grade 0 because they won’t cope otherwise. I teach the 3-4 group (those that turn 4 in the school year – between January and December) and in my group they already learn handwriting skills, letter and number recognition and basic numeracy and literacy. It’s insane. We never had to do that when I was a kid.
Preschool is a great way to set a foundation for a child however.
My advice to you, should you decide one day to go this route, is to go to a variety of preschools in the area. You should be able to drop in whenever you want without making an appointment. If the school insists you have to make an appointment, ask then what they have to hide, and then find another school on the list. When you visit, take into account the following:
– Are the kids happy?
– Are the teachers happy? Are they affectionate? Do the children enjoy being around their teachers?
– Are the classrooms, school and grounds clean?
– Are the toys and equipment in good repair? Is anything broken? Is there damaged outdoor equipment?
– Are the teachers qualified?
– What is the adult:child ratio? Are there teaching assistants?
– Do at least 80% of the teachers/staff have at least basic first aid qualifications (wound care, CPR).
– What is the policy for sick children (if the child falls ill, they should have a policy of phoning the parents first before administration of any kind of medication – that’s the law in South Africa, not sure about the States – you need to look into child care laws in your country/state and see what the laws say – make sure the school you’re looking at complies)
– Does the school have a curriculum? What kind of daily activities do they do? If they only let the kids sit and colour pictures in or watch TV, you’re wasting your time. There should be a wide variety of activities from puzzles to creative works involving lot of different media (paint, glue, leaves, pasta, sand, water, soap bubbles etc)
There’s a lot of stuff you want to look at. The biggest thing you want to check though is at the top of my list. The children must be happy and look comfortable around their teachers. If they avoid or seem afraid of their teachers, if their teachers look angry or stressed, you want to maybe avoid that school. You don’t get to make a first impression twice.
Good luck.
Kirsten says:
I should also add that in SA, the majority of kids who come to preschool (at least in my school) are all at the school by 8:00 am when we serve breakfast for the kids, and some stay there until 5:30 pm when we close. We open at 7:00 am and some kids are there earlier because their moms and dads have to be at work early. I notice in some other comments that kids seem to go to preschool only twice or three times a week. Things are obviously different where I’m from.
Missy says:
Blame the schools. As a former teacher, BLAME the schools. Instead of kids learning ABC and 123 in kindergarten, they’re learning to read, add and subtract. Sucks. My kindergartener has her first spelling test tomorrow. Why??!!!! College has not gotten that much harder so I have no idea why elementary school has this big push for everything to be done earlier. I’m a big advocate of BRING BACK RECESS! My girl goes to full day kindergarten and only gets one recess. And has homework. Unreal. If I could homeschool, I would in a heartbeat. Kids are growing up way too fast. Some blame the media, but I say schools are just as much to blame.
Choose a “play” oriented preschool if possible. Little one’s need to learn to play well with others, listen to adults, share, wash their hands after potty and good table manners (I’m not talking Miss Manners here). Preschools that focus on academics are evil in my opinion.
Kristen says:
I don’t know about pre-school, but daycare is crazy expensive where I live, suburbs of Austin, TX. We pay $1,200 per month for our one year old to go to daycare, and that isn’t even the most expensive. I can’t beleive I am almost paying a mortgage payment for my baby to go to daycare!! There are definetly long waiting lists at the daycares near our house. We started shopping for one on the day we found out the sex of our baby (20 weeks gestation).
Jamie says:
If you can do preschool, I would. Frankly, they expect more of incoming Kindergarten students than they did when we were in Kindergarten (I say we assuming you’re a peer. I’m 34. I think you’re close in age, Heather). In our small town our 18 month old is already on the “list” for preschool in 2012. There are just a few options and the school my middle daughter (4) is in, is just the best. Period. Short of a huge commute. We can from the Northwest Suburbs of Chicago and preschool wasn’t this competitive there.
In the past, I’ve relied on dumb luck. About the end of July I start freaking out and then someone find the perfect spot. I don’t know how I do it, but I do. Up until this year, I figured people who put their kids on lists so early were looking for something really hoity toity. I bet there are a ton of resources where you live, you just might not get into the hoity toity joint. Which is probably just fine.
Megan says:
I think the preschool freak-out is common in any big city or an area where you have a lot of relatively affluent, highly educated parents. And it is fueled by the fact that it is, in fact, now possible to fail kindergarten.
I did go to preschool but *gasp* my parents just signed me up for the place down the street that had an opening and was affordable. They didn’t do any research or get on any waiting list. And yet, I went to college and now have a good job. Amazing!
On the contrary, I know a couple whose 10-year-old daughter attends a $20,000/yr private school because, they said, she was just WAY TOO SMART for the local elementary school. Their 4-year-old attends a French immersion preschool, but they’re thinking of pulling her out next year and sending her to public kindergarten and then putting her into the school the older daughter attends. Why? Because the curriculum at the French school is “not as aggressive as we’d like” — they thought she’d be reading by now.
And of course, since free time isn’t something you can put on a college application, all these kids must have every inch of their day that isn’t consumed by school and homework consumed by structured activities.
I have to wonder if any of this is really for the best for the kids. What are the goals of these parents? Obviously they are thinking ahead to future success. Everything is about the next step, which will all ultimately lead to a good job and financial success. But, will their kids be HAPPY?
So, my feeling is that you should roll your eyes at all these parents freaking out over preschool. Based on your posts, Annie seems to already get lots of exposure to other kids/babies. Talk to her. Read to her. Take her to the playground, the zoo, the children’s museum. But don’t stress over whether she’s deprived because you’re not forking over hundreds of bucks a month for formal education for a toddler.
Noelle says:
I enrolled my daughter in preschool when she was 3 because she’s an only child and I really felt it would be the best thing for her. But I wasn’t going to send her just anywhere. I researched and visited all the local preschools and finally decided on a music-based preschool that was a half-hour drive from our house but well worth it. I couldn’t believe it when she came home and started telling me about Beethoven. I have a friend in NYC, where I’m from, who pays $10,ooo/year for her child’s preschool and I don’t think the program is any better than what I paid $70-150/month for in Utah (we moved here right before my daughter was born for my husband’s job).
We have been really blessed to have such a wonderful and affordable preschool. I sent my daughter to preschool 2.5 hours, 2 days a week for 3-school, 3 days a week for 4-school (and now she attends their 1/2-day kindergarten). Those few hours were more than enough to give her some structure, play and learning time, plus make friends…and give me a tiny break! I don’t think kids need to be in school any more than that when they’re so little. We have them to ourselves for such a short time before they head off to school full-time.
The bottom line, Heather, is don’t get caught in that whole keeping up with the Jones’ thing. Look around for an affordable preschool with a curriculum you believe in and a staff you can trust. A couple days a week is enough for a 3 or 4 year old to learn some structure in a school setting, and how to interact with other kids and make some local friends. You will know in your heart when you find the right place for Annie, and when the time is right to send her.
Jen L. says:
OMG, it’s like that here, too. I seriously thought it was because we live in this tiny southern town where people honestly have nothing better to do than obsess over preschool. When we moved here from NYC, my son was 8 months old. People would shake their heads and go, “Well, you MIGHT be able to get him into the Child Study Center by the time he’s three…” We use a mother’s day out at a church right now,which doesn’t necessarily teach a ton of lesssons, but provides a social environment and reinforces the stuff we do at home, like ABC’s and numbers. My son loves it. As an only child, I think it’s good for his development to be socialized 3 days a week while I work part-time. As for the elusive “Child Study Center,” we toured and it was NOT right for us. (Not to mention INSANELY expensive.)
I think too much emphasis is put on preschool, personally. Little kids need time to hang at home (if that’s possible and a parent is home) so they can play and explore the world on their own terms.
Ok, that was a novel. Shall climb off teh soap box now!
Lisa says:
I didn’t go to preschool either, I think the craze for preschool a newer thing.
I just put Maya on a wait list to start next year (she’ll be just shy of 4). Luckily people are insane when it comes to preschool here. I mean if you want to send your kid to one of the prestigious ones that cost more than college you have to get them on a wait list before you even think about conceiving them. But, if you just plan on sending them to a regular preschool you can wait until you know where you will be, how much you want to spend and when you want them to start.
Around here preschool costs vary. Our school district happens to have an amazing preschool and it is only $12/day for the half day program. That is where Maya will go. It will give us a chance to get used to the school district before she starts kindergarten and she’ll be used to their teaching styles and learning philosophies.
Have you seen the documentary Baby University? It is about preschool in New York and is crazy, you should watch it.
Jo says:
I lived in LA for many years and was an ‘SC girl, too (woohoo! Go Trojans!), now living in the UK… but I hear you, it is crazy competitive out there. I applaud those that don’t get into the rat race, but I know it’s hard. I suppose I always reminded myself that regardless of if my children are astronauts or workers at the local McD’s, I really just want them to by content and confident people from the beginning. I’m sure you and Mike are the same and don’t care whether Annie goes to the most expensive or cheapest preschool (if she goes at all), as long as it’s where she will thrive. My 2 year old currently does two mornings at a tiny local nursery school literally around the corner from my house. I did this solely because she doesn’t get much socializing and it is a lovely, little, caring place where she burns off some energy with other kids and gets used to group activities. She will do a morning session Mon-Fri when she is 3 years old (but they start elementary school here at 4, so it’s a little different!). With Annie’s outgoing personality, she might enjoy a few mornings, but most people don’t start in the US till they are 3 years old, I believe…? I don’t think it really matters, to be honest. You and Mike are awesome parents and she’s obviously getting lots of music,art and fun at home. It’s a personal decision that is best made on a case-by-case basis, as I’m sure you know. Even if she doesn’t go to preschool at all, I’m sure she gets all she needs at home. Visit a few places if you’re interested and just see what the waiting lists are like. You’ll get a feeling as soon as you step into a place. Don’t let the OC tractor moms scare you!
J+1 says:
Oh, it’s so funny you posted this, because just yesterday I got caught up in Preschool Madness. My daughter isn’t even a year old and I’m thinking about this! The “good” preschool in my town is run by a church, and preference is given to children of families that are members of the congregation, and I caught myself actually thinking I should join the church in order to get priority!
CRAZY.
Skye says:
I think it’s important to let your kids learn the school environment and socialize with other kids before they hit first grade. I skipped kindergarten and really think I missed out- so my only advice is not to skip kindergarten. But preschool? That’s totally up to you. Either way, she is lucky to have the love and support of her wonderful parents. Don’t get too intimidated by the intense parents!
mp says:
Preschool options (and pressures) abound here in the Northeast too. Boston, New York probably worst. Gotta decide what’s best for the individual child and family of course. That said, having had a son go through it and now a daughter in daycare/preschool three days a week, I think the socialization that kids experience in a school-like setting is invaluable. Really, our American culture is a highly communicativel one, and the sooner kids learn to deal with other kids’ needs and wants and tantrums, the better. And the sooner your own kid learns to speak up for herself, the better. And I think the confidence a preschooler takes with her into kindergarten will make a difference in how much that child will be able to learn. So I would agree that any preschool would be good, and it doesn’t have to be focused on academics.
Something I’m surprised no one has mentioned is the fact that a few hours a day that is freed up for yourself while your child is in preschool is also a huge boon. You can take time for yourself to relax, or have more time to work. Either way, win-win!
LD says:
I think that it’s nearly impossible to sign a kid up for a preschool before you know who they are. When my oldest was to the point that he needed more social interaction, we looked at preschools. We went to a Montessori one that people signed up for while they were still pregnant and realized that it wasn’t at all for us. It was actually a bit creepy. We enrolled him in a school that seemed like it would be great–lots of unstructured learning through play. It was AWFUL for my son, because he’s the type of kid that craves structure. After a few months of him being miserable and telling me that he didn’t want to go every morning, we moved him over to a preschool that we originally thought was not for us. It turns out that its structure and super-academic orientation was perfect for my son. Who knew? Certainly not me.
I think what’s good on paper, because everyone is doing it, isn’t necessarily right for every kid. And will it make your kid super-duper smart. Nope. Does it matter if your 3 year old is doing low-level algebra? Nope. It’s not going to make them happier or more well adjusted in the long run. And isn’t that what we *really* want for our kids?
Susan says:
Wow, I have grown kids and I have headache reading all the preschool comments =) I like in your post how you wrote that your parents didn’t send you to preschool because it felt right. Yah for them. It is most certainly a choice and not something that has to be done. Your child can be ready for Kindergarten without public/private preschool. It is what you and your husband want. It is a great tool for beginning learning and socializing but it isn’t a must. All that can be done in other ways besides preschool. You must do what feels right for your child. And, you may feel differently for your individual children. And no, if you want preschool, I wouldn’t start looking until she is more ready. Good luck.
Jessi says:
I live in Germany and they have something called Kindergarten here. It’s a place (not in a school) where kids go when they are 2 or 3 until they start school. It’s quite different than preschool in the states though, because we don’t learn how to read there. That’s something we learned when we were 6 in first grade. I don’t really see sense in a 3 year old being able to read a book. I think it’s much more important to have fun, let grown ups read stories and enjoy life before you go to school and HAVE to learn.
We did crafts, went for long walks, sang songs and stuff like that but letters and numbers were never program where I went to.
I think it’s totally fine to send them to a preschool because it is fun for them to socialize with other kids, they learn a lot just having to share and listent o other people. It should be fun though and no work included like homework.
Kat Golando says:
I found this website very helpful: http://www.naeyc.org/
LisaJ says:
Yes. This is an excellent source!
Mary says:
Preschool here is different from Pre Kindergarten which is for four year olds right before they enter Kindergarten. I started my oldest in preschool at 2 1/2 because I had a *surprise* pregnancy and my second baby was born just 17 months after my first. This sent me into some sort of rabid PPD and I just couldn’t bring myself to take the firstborn to any playdates, mommy and me classes etc. I felt like she needed interaction with other children her age. Four hours a day, three days a week was all it took to let me get back on an even keel with only one baby in the house and my daughter loved it too. We just started her little brother this week, he just turned two. Now they both go three mornings a week. I cannot tell you what an excellent investment it has been. My daughter has learned so much, she surprises me weekly with new skills. I’m would imagine here in NC the prices are much lower than where you are, we pay $310 a month for each child M, T, W 8-12.
Jan says:
As an elementary teacher I think it is very helpful for kids to go to some kind of structured setting before they start kindergarten. It can be mother’s day out, preschool, or whatever as long as it gives them a chance to follow directions from another adult, learn to play/practice social skills in a group, and follow an age appropriate schedule (stopping water play to have snack time when the teacher says to)…it really will help with transitioning to kindergarten when the time comes. A couple of hours a day, two days a week, one year before kdg is fine. Just make sure the teachers/caretakers are loving and handle outbursts, etc in a way you are comfortable with.
Christina says:
You are scaring me! I am only 12 weeks pregnant and was told yesterday by 2 day cares that my child would be on a waiting list that looked to open up in 3 years. So my child will be 2? At the rate I am going, if I don’t start looking for a preschool, my poor kid will be 8 when we finally get him enrolled!
I did go to preschool though, and I think I liked it. My Mom taught the pre-school class next door so I remember hanging out at the school a lot.
Jen says:
Live near Washington DC here, so yeah, lots of pressure on education in general, starting in preschool. It is ridiculous. I ended up sending my kids to a play-based program and they loved it. No need to make a choice now, but I would start talking to other parents and find out reputations of various schools. I personally think 2 is too young to send, but at 3 both my kids were ready (neither ever had a problem with me leaving them at that point). Visit and observe (without Annie) the programs you are interested in, if you like what you see take Annie for a short visit and see how she reacts. And just a note, preschools (around here at least) start enrollment in January & February for the next school year so you do have to start looking almost a year before you will be ready to send her. Good luck, and remember it is only preschool. One of the main factors in my choice was that the school is only 1.5 miles away from the house so if there was a problem I could be there in 5 minutes.
Ann says:
I didn’t go to pre-school either and I was advanced for my age when I got to Kindergarten! Guess what? I turned out just fine! But I think you are right when you say that pre-school was much different in “our day!” (WOW!!! Sounds like we are old, right?) Pre-school when we were kids was more for parents who HAD to put their kids. Today it’s an option.
My Husband and I put our Daughter in a pre-school at 2! It was a pre-school, not a daycare and we loved it!!! It was an amazing find! It was a Montessori program and was actually cheaper than other pre-schools around! But it was something we had to do because we both had to work. Now, I am at home with my son my 1 year old son and there is a possibility I may have to go back to work. I just pray I can find a school that was as amazing as our Daughters was now that we are in another state! Our Daughter excelled beyond my wildest dreams in school!
Terri says:
Wow, that’s crazy!!! I had no idea there was a competition over preschool. Wonder if it’s a west coast thing or a big city thing? We live in a small town and there are just a few preschools to choose from, but it’s no huge waiting list for them. The daycare our daughter goes to does preschool so it’s something I’ve never even thought about. She’ll just go there when the time comes. I’m all stressed out for you! Good luck finding one and “applying” that sounds so weird! lol I’m sure Annie is so brilliant though there will be absolutely no problem, wherever she goes will be LUCKY to have her.
mtobin says:
live down the road from you in SD, and my kids went to preschool. You do NOT need to pay for some uberexpensive preschool. My daughter went to a local lutheran church preschool. 2 days a week when 3 ( had to be potty trained) and then 3 day when 4. It was basically organized play with basic learning. It was clean, loving and she loved it. It was also very affordable. Ask around your neighborhood. We didn’t sign up until the spring before it started.. they had one day you came.
My son went one year but then moved to the Junior K at the elementary school my daughter attended so they could be in one spot. Good luck.
Elizabeth says:
Wow signing up for a child for preschool before they’re even born, that’s a well never mind… I don’t want to offend anyone.
I don’t have any children as of yet so I really don’t know what kind of advice I can give but if it were me I’d probably ask close friends who have children in preschool where their children go, if they like it, what age they started them and all that.
Sorry I couldn’t be more help.
Rachel says:
I worked at a day care/ preschool when I was in high school and summers in college. From that and the insane amount of babysitting I have done over the years I can tell you that what makes a good preschool is not latest and greatest in child rearing and teaching techniques or newest toys and gadgets, its the love of the teachers, their willingness to read the same book day after day, the happiness of the other kids, is everyone, kids and teachers alike, having fun? If thats what Annie associates going to school with, then you are headed in the right direction. Its not a topic worth losing sleep over. Its book, coloring, play doh, and sing-a-longs, not the college app process
Kristi says:
I’ve had the same anxiety about preschool! It’s crazy to me that people sign their children up before they are born. Really makes me feel behind!
My daughter isn’t old enough for preschool yet but I think the typical age to start is 3.
Preschool should prep Annabel for Kindergarten so you probably want to look for a school that’s teaching the foundations of whatever will be taught in Kindergarten. You should be able to find this information by visiting the State’s Board of Education site. Beyond this, I don’t have any other advice. I haven’t a clue how much preschool costs but I’m sure it’s not cheap.
Good luck!
Amanda says:
Here’s my take on it: nowadays, everyone sends their kid to preschool because it’s fashionable and they all like to discuss in the gym locker room whose kid goes where (like what kind of a car you drive) as if it’s some status symbol. Kids are not a status symbol, they’re children. And you only get to be a child once. We go to school for a looooong, looooong time and then we get a nice certificate (which costs a fortune) and then we go to work for a looooong, looooong time. So really, the only years where nothing is expected of us (no expectations are put on us) and we aren’t expected to keep a certain schedule are from birth to 4/5 years old, when we start kindergarten. It drives me crazy when parents get all competitive with each other when it comes to how many colors and shapes their kid can correctly identify, or how high they can count or who knows their ABCs better. For the love of God, they’re kids. They should be picking their noses and playing in dirt. That’s not to say that I don’t think you should try to teach your children some of these skills before they start school, but they shouldn’t be pressured to learn it. If they don’t pick some of it up at home, they’ll pick it up in school (real school) when the time is right. There’s a reason real school only starts at the age of 4 or 5. But that’s just my take.
Virginia says:
I live in Tennessee, about 45 min outside Nashville, so I’m borderline rural. Here preschool is a meh subject, some kids go some don’t. My daughter will be 4 in April so I’m drowning in the process of finding a preschool, not really because I think she needs to go but that she has to go, we can’t afford to put our son in daycare next year if she doesn’t go. So far I’ve only found one in my area that is an enroll before you’re born kinda place I hear their tuition is insane too.
Recently a parent I know who’s child has recently entered kindergarten told me what they had to know to get into kindergarten here. They have to be able to count to at least 25, know, spell and write their full name, know the alphabet, and be potty trained. I think there was a few other things in their too they had to know. Either way this is a freaking headache.
Deirdre says:
Does she HAVE to go to preschool? No. Is a probably a good idea? Sure. Mostly in the sense that it’ll make her more comfortable in a “classroom” with other kids and a certain amount of “structure”. The actual “academic” stuff she’ll learn there is all stuff she can learn at home, as long as you’re committed to teaching her: counting, alphabet, colors, letter sounds, writing etc. As long as you can structure (and I use that word loosely) her days so she’s learning what other kids would be at preschool, there’s no need to send her to school for academic stuff. I think the real value of preschool is the “non-academic” stuff: learning from a different person (i.e. teacher), learning to share and take turns in a group, socializing, etc. Plus, kids do make “friends” at a much younger age than I would have thought. My son, who is now 3, really started getting excited to see his little friends from the time he was 18 months old.
Looking for a preschool is like looking for a day care: you have to find a place that you’re comfortable with and that she likes. Good teachers who read to them and are willing to really get down on the floor with them.
Tamela says:
I didn’t go to Pre-K either, but times are different now. It’s all about kindergarten readiness and the expectations are much higher. My boys are currently in Pre-K and 1st grade. They both attended Daycare with a preschool curriculum, but I still decided to send them to school when they were 4. They were at the same in-home DC since they were infants and they treated the providers like a 2nd set of parents and I thought for school, they might need a little more structure, but I digress….
Pre-K is a great environment for the kids. It teaches them appropriate classroom behavior, socialization, schedules time and the kids do learn a lot. We live just outside NYC and it’s very different here than the city (where’s it’s very competitive.) I didn’t start thinking about school until the spring before they would start. My youngest is in Universal PreK through our school district. If it’s available, I would highly recommend it. In our district, it’s 2 1/2 hrs. a day, 5 days a week and it’s FREE!!!
Carrie says:
My best friend teaches Kindergarten, and she says that you definitely can tell the difference between kids who go to preschool and those who don’t, in terms of things like ability to sit still and focus and stay on task (at a 5-year-old level, at least). But she also said that any organized activity like regular storytimes at the library or playgroups or other socialization helps a lot too.
We had no intention of sending our 3-year-old to preschool this year, but he has enough developmental delays that he qualified for special preschool with the school district, so he will be going fairly soon. He’s so little though, it’s hard for me to believe he’s ready to leave Mommy and go sit in a class!
Kelly says:
My daughter is 3 and will be turning 4 in a few weeks. This is her first year in preschool. She goes two mornings a week for about 2.5 hours each day.
It’s a private school that goes from preschool through 12th grade. They had an orientation/get to know the school thing in March of last year. It was for all people thinking of sending their children there, not just preschool. We decided in June to send her there and she started in September. The whole process was within months of her actually going to school. I didn’t think about it until last year.
We got her started this early because she’s an only child and my mom takes care of her while I’m at work. We wanted the social aspect and we wanted her to learn to respect other people of authority. She was already doing all the learning objectives the preschool has on their list.
Next year she’ll be in pre-kindergarten which is 3 days a week and longer hours. More prep for the long, grueling days of kindergarten.
Here’s what’s interesting, all the parents, except two, are very standoffish and unfriendly. It’s the most bizarre thing. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s a private school that they look at me like I’m not wealthy enough to send my daughter there or they’re all just rude. It’s been more socially awkward for me than it has for my daughter. I can see these women sitting around while pregnant, signing their kids up for preschool! It’s unnerving!
Kelly says:
My Mea is in pre-school now, but where we live, pre-school is free to all four year olds. Thank goodness for FREE!
I do think pre-school is wonderful, it does give them an idea as to how school will work when they are in kindergarten, without the long day, and Mea is reading and writing much better with the help of her teachers.
I sent Mack, before it was free, and she also was very well prepared for kindergarten.
Don’t go crazy, just find somewhere that feels best for Annie. The rest will fall into place.
cindy w says:
Yeah, some of the preschool stuff is nuts. Catie goes to a daycare that happens to have a preschool-ish curriculum (with also plenty of time to let the kids run around and just be kids). But I didn’t choose the daycare based on whether or not it would help her get into an Ivy League college – I chose them because they’re only 3 miles from my house and I got a good vibe from the people who run the place. And Catie loves it there, so that’s good enough for me.
Some people are just way too uptight. Don’t let them influence how you parent your kid.
Elle says:
I never went to preschool but I would sometimes go to daycare where I would watch Sesame Street and looked forward to snack time. My niece had to start going to preschool when she was 3 and it’s all day. My sister was told if she didn’t start then, she would be too far behindthe other kids for kindergarten . (Wha?)
If my daughter has to go that early, I hope the school enjoys having me tag along. That seems too early for mysweet babeh to leave the nest.
Kristin says:
Wow. Craziness!
We were lucky enough to find a preschool (really its a mixture of daycare/preschool) when I went back to work when my son was 14mos. He stayed there thru kindergarten. Luckily they have an all-day kindergarten class, which the public schools are not required to have, only a few schools have all-day.
I think its INSANE to enroll kids in a pre-school before they are even born. Hello? It seems like its all about status at that point. The “yes, I can afford to send my child to this school. I HAVE MONEY. EVERYONE LOOK AT ME AND SEE HOW AWESOME I AM” Yes, that’s what I see when people talk about preschool before the child is even out of diapers or before.
Go with your gut. When she’s 3 or even 4 you might put her in a preschool 2 or 3 days a week. But kids without preschool do just fine too.
Also, I read in the comments someone’s kid had an hour’s worth of homework in kindergarten?!! Really?! Crazy. My son is in 1st grade, has about 5-10 minutes of homework each day, and 2-3 of those days it is just reading a book or me reading to him, which we do anyway.
Its great that we want smart kids, but I think we are going about it in all the wrong ways.
DrLori71 says:
Preschool is the new kindergarten. I’ve got one son in 2nd grade and one son in pre-K and I am amazed at the things they are learning at this age. In first grade art class, my son learned about Claude Monet. When I was in first grade art class, we learned red+blue=purple. The good old days of preschool naptime and eating paste are definitely over!
Lea says:
Ack! My son is almost 3 1/2, and he isn’t in preschool yet. *Gasp* I HATE the preschool obsession. I only know of one other mom friend whose child is not in preschool at this age, and I feel like we are the last two on earth who haven’t enrolled our children. I would like to start him at the age of 4 IF it feels right. Still not sure. All I know is that it will be OUR decision as parents and not everyone else’s.
Ami says:
If you have lots of socializing opportunities and read and color and do play-do at home, then preschool is SO not necessary. That being said, it can be fun for the kids and help them learn classroom dynamics. We sent our kids the year before kindergarten for three days a week. And frankly, we went with the cheapest option that had a license and looked clean and fun. Call me cheap, but I refuse to pay the same amount for preschool as I did for my first year of college.
MelissaG says:
We home school but did send our first to preschool and our second is currently in preschool. Our city (in WI) is not like that AT ALL. In fact the preschools are having a hard time staying open because the public schools are offering free 4 yr old preschool (maybe they call it kindergarten, not sure) and ALL DAY kindergarten for 5 year olds. Some people are trying to reverse it…early education has not been proven to be effective for much from what I’ve read/listened to. It can actually be harmful in some ways. Not to knock what people choose, I know everyone is different. Our son is in just for the “fun” of it truthfully. I think it’s pretty well known that weather your child reads at 3 or 7 by 3rd grade they are all pretty much even. I think it’s great your parents chose to do their own thing. I can’t even imagine living somewhere that unborn children are signed up…wow! Good luck to you with whatever you decide. I’m all for….letting kids be kids, let them creative, let them run around and discover while they are young. There is SO much time for academics later in life and these early “fun” years will never happen again.
Off my soapbox….
AngieM. says:
yup, pretty much everyone is obsessed with pre school here too. i mean they’re barely talking about trying to conceive, YET already researching pre schools AND elementary schools. that’s just crazy! i didn’t go to pre school, neither did any of my siblings. and the only reason why i sent my daughter to pre school was because i was working.
i think the same people that are obsessed with pre school are the same ones that are helicopter parents.
Kristin (MamaKK922) says:
Wow Preschool is hard Yo. Thank God I live in a town where NO one gives a crap. maybe that’s really bad. I only went to preschool cause my mom had to work but I had a blast. I think a lot of parents take things far to seriously now days. My girls were in preschool for like 6 months until they had to get spinal taps because there was a meningitis scare, now this is NOT normal. Apparently there are VERY stupid parents out there. So that was it for me.
Cristy says:
we had the same experience in Nor Cal as you Heather. in fax when my husband was filling out paperwork for Colby’s birth certificate he was asked where we enrolled and given recommendations because much to the hospital worker’s surprise, we hadn’t done that yet. well we waited, and had NO problem getting him into our first choice program just three weeks before the fall session started.
as far as making the choice to send Annie or not, you’ll know what feels right for you. my parents watch Colby so we didn’t have to send him but I could tell he was getting bored with his toys and not being around other kids. it was a hard transition but he loves it now and has grown so much socially. he’s still at my parents part time too so we get the best of both.
costs vary at least in these parts. there was one here that is more like a college prep program than my high school was and it was $20k per year. insane if you ask me. but the ones we liked best ran around $1k for full time per month. we pay $600 for part time. it’s play and learning based. my favorite part of the day is when he tells me what he played with, what crafts he did, and what he learned. good luck!
Desiree says:
We are up in Sacramento and The rush for preschool up here is probably just a tad less than down in LA but its there. Waiting lists galore. If you dont sign them up right away your pretty much screwed. We looked into private preschool for our son and OMG the price was just rediculous. We ended up going with a state preschool program and it has been wonderful for him.
He will be starting Kindergarten this coming fall and We have him going 5 days a week 4 hours a day simply for the interaction and socialization aspects and to get him use to having to listen to a teacher(s) when Kinder starts.
As far as learning I have just taken it upon myself to teach him at home. We work on a different theme each week and just have fun with it. Kindergarten is SO different. They require too much from the kids in my opinion. Kids are at different levels.
If you feel she can benifit from going by all means send her. Its great to have them socialized and thats what I think preschool is for. I wouldnt worry about getting her in a A-list preschool down there unless you want her mingling with star babys
pseudostoops says:
My parents moved out of the area in which you live when my sister and I were tiny, and to this day my mom says that one of the best parts of the move was the relief she felt about getting away from the truly intense preschool stuff out there. Like, we were already on waiting lists at birth, people seriously talked about it like it was a necessary tool for getting into college, etc. It’s always stressful, I think, but your area is particularly so. (We did end up going to preschool out here, and I loved it, and my mom loved it, so it worked out fine.)
CrystalC2B says:
I know right! REE DICK YOU LUSS!
That being said, in BC, there are REQUIREMENTS for kids entering kindergarten.
They can’t start to learn writing, how to spell their name or counting there after all. They might be in half day kindergarten! And then where would they be!?
My oldest started preschool at her daycare at age 3.
Holly says:
We went through the same thing. I felt the pressure to put them in preschool, and my husband felt that once the child is in third grade, you cannot tell if they attended preschool or not. Well we couldn’t afford preschool so my oldest only got 6 months (two days a week) before kindergarten, and my middle child didn’t get any preschool. He is in first grade and he gets “at grade level” or “above grade level” in every subject. At the rate he is improving, I am confident that by third grade he will excel in all subjects like his brother. My oldest is in third grade and reads at a 9th grade level. After only 6 months, two mornings a week of preschool! I didn’t believe my husband when he first said that, but now I do! Our last child is 3 and if we can afford it we will send him 2 days a week the year before kindergarten. If we can’t (the prices are insane), I am not going to stress about it!!
Tara. says:
The Moms in my city are pretty obsessed with pre-school, but I don’t think it’s as bad as LA. I’ve never understood the obsession with putting your kid in preschool at age 2. That’s basically daycare while you go run errands, isn’t it? I’m just sayin’, let’s be honest.
I think you do what you feel is right. I personally believe that preschool the year before K starts is really beneficial. They learn so much socially and it’s more of a school setting-they actually learn stuff and not just play with toys. Having said that, we can’t afford for my almost 5 year old to go to preschool right now, so we’re doing preschool at home. I’ve found tons of fun work books and crafts and I think he’ll be fine when he starts K. There’s so much you can do at home to prepare them for “real” school, so don’t fret. Annie is smart and beautiful and she will succeed even if you don’t start her in preschool when she’s 2. Plus, it will probably mean she gets sick less often! Score!
Pamala says:
I didn’t send Kaylee until she was 3. I never understood sending them as soon as possible. Sadly I have to return to work so my youngest is starting at 7 months old.
Jessalee says:
I didn’t go to preschool either! And not to sound like a total jerk or anything, but I was in the gifted and talented program at school all through elementary school (okay, so I still sounded like a total jerk). The point being, we did just fine without it.
Both my kids went to preschool, but they went more for the socialization than anything. My son needed the exposure to other kids because he was like a little grown-up, and my daughter is such a mama’s girl, that I wanted to be sure she’d do okay in all-day kindergarten. They both only went for one year though, rather than the two years.
It didn’t give them a huge boost up or anything education wise. It did give them a better idea about rules, following rules and what it’s like to go to school with other kids that may or may not be annoying, as well as how the day might go structure wise.
The preschools do matter though. My son went to a preschool that was excellent, and he learned A LOT academically and socially. My daughter went to a preschool that was moderately good, and she just learned a little academically and a lot socially.
You could do the same thing yourself at home, which is what I would have done if I didn’t already work from home and just not have the structure myself that they needed.
Allison says:
Just read this fantastic article the other day: http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/12/29/christakis.play.children.learning/index.html
It is about the benefits of play-based preschool vs. learning-based preschool. We go to a play-based school and I love it. I’m not ready for my 3/4 year olds to be doing multiplication.
My advice is to ask friends and find the right preschool, and go ahead and get on the list. If you move or whatever, who cares, you won’t need it. But if you do need it, you’ll have the option!
Allison says:
Oh, and one more thing. I hope I don’t offend anyone here, but I don’t think daycare is the same as preschool.
Preschool is a school that has classes for 3 and 4 year olds. Not younger – potty trained only. And school lasts only part of the day, not from 7 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Daycare type preschools have benefits too, of course, but for a non-working Mom, I think a traditional preschool is the best fit.
Laura says:
Wow, now I am stressed out too. I have always thought preschool and day care were two different things, but now it seems like they are almost the same?? Someone please explain the difference to me.
Anyway, like everyone else said, don’t stress. Annie is still so little. If you haven’t done so already, maybe you two could start a gymboree class for now. It is so fun for both mommy and baby and is great for socializing, sharing, etc.
My son is two and we do mommy and me preschool. It’s once or twice a week, for three hours. It is play-based, and the kids are given tons of choices of activities. When it is structured, like story time, they are not forced to participate, but encouraged. We both adore his school and his teachers. The best part is that when he is 3, if he is ready and we decide it is for us, he will go to the same school with the same teacher, just without mommy. I like this because I know and trust her after spending so much time with her and seeing how she interacts with the students. It is also important to me that he not be traumatized by having to be on his own so I think this is a great way to transition. To be totally honest though, I think he would be fine even now if I wasn’t there. He is so independent, but not every 2 year old is, so I think mommy and me class is the best choice for little ones.
Of course, every kid is different. Some absolutely LOVE preschool and crave the stimulation. For others, it is too much and stresses them out. You have to do what is right for your child, and there is no way to know what that is while you are still pregnant for heaven’s sakes!! That is just crazy!!
You will find something just perfect for that little angel of yours!! If you do decide to send Annie to preschool, most people wait until age 3 unless it is with a parent. As for choosing a school, don’t worry about all those schools with waiting lists for ten years and tuition that is higher than USC. There are hundreds of schools to choose from and you will find a great one that is reasonably priced and, most importantly, a great fit for your family. Start with recommendations from other mommies, then visit the schools. When you find the best match for Annie and for you, you will feel at home and you will just know.
Good luck, mama. Please don’t lose sleep over this. You are doing an amazing job. Maybe you should even start your own preschool!! I for one would love for my little guy to be exposed to all the singing and dancing and awesome video-making that goes on at the Spohr’s house!!!
Allison says:
Just left a comment regarding this – preschool and daycare ARE two different things.
But for some reason, parents have started to call daycare “school.” Actually, I think the daycares who started to call themselves “school.” Sure, they do preschool/school types of things, but I still think there is a MAJOR difference between teachers and a school that is geared for kids who come for 4 or 5 hours, versus a school that takes kids all day long.
I have had many friends switch from a preschool in our area that used to be the best preschool in the city. It became a daycare, and many people are leaving. You simply get a different feeling there than you do at a school where the teachers are fresh, awake, and ready to spend just a few hours with the kids versus a whole day.
Sara says:
i didn’t go to preschool either, or daycare. i like to think i turned out fine…
my son will be 2 this month and he is at a daycare center that will automatically start him on the preschool curriculum. i had a really hard time choosing this center because i like him to be a kid. i want him to have structure but not a rigorous schedule every single day. i am happy with our choice.
my advice: do what you feel is right for your family. and don’t stress on it. you will feel it when you find the right choice.
Melissa says:
Do not let preschool give you a headache, and don’t choose a preschool for the “education” of it all. All kids need to get out of preschool is three things: interest in learning, socialization with other children, and practice listening to a teacher. You can teach colors, shapes, letters and numbers at home and kindergarten will standardize what all the kids learn. Two springs before she starts kindergarten, start looking at programs. Meet the teachers, take a tour. You may find that waiting to register until Annie is ready takes a way a few choices, but it’s worth it to know what preschool age Annie needs – will she need more structure, or a kinder gentler teacher? Will a school with a music program be right for her or one that takes lots of field trips? Look at the art – is it all “product” art and worksheets, or is there examples of creative explorative art, where kids are given materials and allowed to experiment and have fun? Think about whether a formal classroom setting is better for your family, or if there are community education classes or family classes offered by the school district, library system or rec centers that would give the same socialization & experience with non-parental authority but be more fun, like swimming classes, gymnastics, art classes, etc. The local zoo and museum here offers classes for preschoolers too.
katrina says:
Heather,
Don’t let preschool make your brain hurt. In my opinion, it’s way overrated. Now, that being said, I do send my kids to preschool but ONLY the year right before they enter Kindergarten. And ONLY if they want to go. I send them just for fun – not expecting them to learn too much, but just to make friends and have fun a few hours a week, and to get them ready for a school environment. I always sign them up for the 3 hour class, two or three days a week.
So far all of my older children have gone to preschool. But this year, it was little Andrew’s turn to go, and he ended up our only preschool drop-out. He turned 4 over the summer and could start Kindergarten in the fall of 2011, so this past September he began Preschool and then dropped out of the program. He simply did not like the separation from me and our family. I tried, he tried…but soon the crying and clinging to my leg at drop-off got to be too much, and I withdrew him from the program after just 3 weeks. The teachers and administrators of the school told me that I was being too soft, that eventually he would “get used” to it. And that may have been. ((You know, kids are that way — they “get used” to things and wonderfully “adjust” when they have to.)) But see, my kid didn’t “have to” — lucky for him (and me!) I am a stay-at-mom and do not need for him to be in preschool for daycare purposed. If he doesn’t want to go, that’s fine with me. Why would I want to spend $300 a month on something that he doesn’t want? When he could be home, and happy, for free?! Maybe we will try it again when he’s 5. Or not. It’s really up to each individual child, and I’m not stressing out that he’s not in preschool, or even if he skips preschool all together. I think he will do just fine in life without it.
Kids haven’t change all that much since you (we) were of preschool age. It’s the parents that have changed. Parent’s these days, I believe, have a way more “keep up with the Joneses” mentality. They also fall into the hype of “the earlier you get your child into preschool the more successful he will be” which I think is just a bunch of nonsense. You can teach them at home — preschool isn’t all that hard to teach, showing them their letters and numbers. Throw a little finger painting in there and they are good to go. Why must we send them to a structured environment all day to learn those things? Like I said, I only send mine if they want to go and if they really enjoy being there. If not, they stay home with me. No worries.
College is something to stress about. Preschool? Not so much.
Michelle says:
My sister’s 4th girl was a preschool dropout too for the same reasons. After 3 big sisters that LOVED school. Baby girl had so much anxiety and would start crying the night before after she would ask if tomorrow was a school day or not. My sister pulled her out too after a month or two. She was a SAHM, so it was not essential. On the up side, when it was time for Kindergarten, she was ready and went without any issue or drama….she just was not ready for preschool – even at 4.
lissa says:
Here in Texas – some of the pre-k(inder) classes are in the elementary school. But in order to qualify, you must meet criteria that is language based, income based and if your parent(s) are in the military. Most people here send their kids to kinder at 5. We opted not to do that and let our kids start kinder at 6. We wanted them to be the oldest rather than the youngest. Our kids were able to read before starting school, could write – legibly, knew their colors and could count to 100. I don’t know what they do in preschool or preK, but I felt that whatever they were going to teach them wouldn’t be something I wasn’t already teaching them at home. Good Luck ! And you have adorable girls =]
mrhc says:
Annie’s “work” right now and for the next few years is to play!
I teach in an art-based preschool in the midwest. My director WILL NOT accept applications or waitlists for anything beyond this school year until February. Beginning in February, that waitlist is for the next school calendar year ONLY. Enrollment for the public begins in February. (Current families get first choice for re-enrollment.)
We base our program on the arts: painting, sculture, movement, music, drama…all things a good early childhood curriculum should incorporate. The opportunites for problem solving, conflict resolution, decision making, socialization and self-expression are imbedded within the arts. Being able to make a choice as to whether to use the red paint or the blue paint helps a child be a self-starter in other areas later on in other settings.
Academic learning happens. Science is present when you find out which primary colors mixed together make a new color. What happens when you use salt on watercolor paint? Spatial relationships are figured out in the process of building a wood sculpture or while moving. The writing center offers writing and drawing tools for fine motor development needed for holding a pencil. Creative thinking is developed with block play or while making choices as to how to use the tools offered for a collage. Conflict resolution opportunities abound whenever you put children of any age in a setting together!
Part of the dilemma over getting “the” preschool of choice is where you live. We all want our children to be the best and brightest they can become. What is most important is that Annie knows you love her. You spend lots of time with her, offering her opportunities to socialize with others (and not just with adults!), and remember her work for the next few years is to PLAY. (My boss brought an article from some Harvard authors to a staff meeting this morning. We’ve got college students who are good at working…but they don’t know how to play. It is eveident in their social interactions. Interesting thought.)
jennifer pletcher says:
My kids are in preschool and they love it. I do think it is a good choice, but it is a personal choice. And expensive!
For a good kick, you need to rent “Nursery University” and watch how NYC handles preschool and preschool admissions. It will blow you away! It is crazy.
Rumour Miller says:
I didn’t go to preschool either…. I know, right.
Having said that, my oldest goes because when I had my second my oldest was driving me crazy asking if she could go to daycare (again, I know, right.) so I put her in preschool two mornings a week and she loved it.
So preschool for me is basically a morning outing for my child without Mommy. They learn and get to make friends and I don’t have to be there.
It’s a personal choice and there is no right or wrong answer but I can tell you that if I had to enroll my child while still in my belly… wasn’t going to happen.
Wallydraigle says:
We’ve actively decided to NOT send our children to preschool. I don’t have a major problem with preschool. I just like the idea of letting them be kids as long as possible. Don’t get me wrong; we’re already teaching them things on our own, so it’s not like we’re anti-education before age five. But I think it’s getting kind of ridiculous that “school” is starting earlier and earlier and earlier. I think both sides probably have their benefits. We just prefer for them to have (mostly) unstructured play for as long as possible.
I may be singing a different tune when I have a 3- and 4-year-old in the same apartment with me all day, though.
Kristin says:
Atlanta is the same way for preschool/day care. Basically, in order to get into a good daycare/preschool (one in the same to me, since I’ll more than likely be working full time when we have kids they’ll attend an all day “preschool” with a curriculum), you better put your name on a waiting list soon after you find out you’re pregnant or at least before the kid is born. It is, as you said, REE DICK.
AJ says:
My situation: my kids go to daycare because I work full time. I love my day care provider. She’s kind and consistent, and also has the same degree that preschool teachers have. The kids do school papers everyday, and learn to write capital and lowercase letters, cut, and recognize numbers. I feel they learn as much, if not more, at day care than they would at preschool.
That covers the learning aspect, there’s also the learning to interact with other children aspect. They get that at day care as well, as there are five other children. However, so that they had that interaction, along with following an instructor, I enrolled them in community soccer, teeball, ballet, and whatever they were interested in. Learning to listen to and follow directions from a coach or ballet teacher teaches the same thing as following directions from a preschool teacher in my opinion.
So my kids didn’t go to preschool. And you know what? My child is the BEST reader in her class, and probably grade…she has test scores to prove it. She also has won awards from her teacher and principal for being respectful, kind, and helping other students.
All that makes me glad I didn’t send her, and I don’t plan on sending my sons either!
I have found a ton of great workbooks at dollar stores, and free printable worksheets at kaboose.com, to supplement what they learn at school and day care!
Sara says:
I live in the bay area, which is also pretty preschool obsessed. I’m home with my 2.5 yr old & we’d been doing a 2-4 hr./week co-op since he turned one. B/c it’s a co-op & only a few hrs/week it was hella cheap. But he got what he needed out of it (play, socialization) & I got really valuable parent education, both from the teachers & through making friends with mothers whose kids are the same age.
Now that I’m pregnant again & we moved to another part of the bay, I have him in a different school and I drop him off 3 mornings/week. I had heard stories of overnight camp-outs before signups and long waiting lists, but I didn’t find any of that among the dozen schools I visited in order to find the right one for us.
So for us I guess it was almost surprisingly easy and worth it. I’m not convinced he’s learning anything more there than he does at home (the kid basically has a first grade education about space because he’s super interested in it, and can tell you where his ulna is), other than (importantly) how to play nice with lots of other kids.
But it gives me what I realized is a much needed break, and helps me to be the kind of parent I want to be during the hours he is home with me.
Emma says:
You should probably start saving for preschool now! Here in Boston they are ridiculously expensive. We pay nearly $20,000 a year for our daughters preschool and the school year goes from September-June. It does not include summer care. You are responsible;e for summer care… which is also insanely expensive.
paige says:
Heather-
It is Paige Finster (from USC/DG). There is a ton of info above re: preschools. I am not from LA, but have lived in Culver City for the past 8 years, so I had no idea where to look for preschools. I am a teacher so I do find the socialization part of preschool important. I was not into sending my boys preschool that pushed academics. I did apply to preschools when my oldest was just a few months old. Crazy but that is what was necessary to do in LA. It is good just to go check them out. My friends and I even went to a preschool consultant (Betsy Brown Braun) which was totally crazy but she did break down which school is a good fit for each type of family. So that way I didn’t have to visit a bunch and waste my time.
I ended up sending my oldest this year to the preschool in downtown CC and he is in LOVE with it. A simple schoolhouse right in our neighborhood. BUT I did have to apply when he was less than a year old. My youngest (15 months) will also go there as well. Seriously you can call/email me to talk about it. I have lists with all the names of the schools for each area in west los angeles/hollywood etc (just not pasadena area) and notes I took. Let me know if you need to chat.
Paige
Momttorney says:
I’m in LA too . . . and after we were behind the ball on daycares and didn’t (as apparently we needed to) get on wait lists for daycares before we even met each other or had sex or conceived or what.the.hell.ever., I was determined to get on pre-school lists in time. So, I toured them when Sam was three months old and got on the lists. Guess what?! Sweet Sammie B won’t be attending any of them because she’ll likely be in special needs preschool, which is hard for me to admit. A life lesson for those silly mamas that get their pannies in a big wad over things like preschool wait lists!!! . . . you can plan all you want, but sometimes, life takes you different places! Anyway, I’m not exactly sure where you are in LA (we are in the Culver City/Del Rey area) so the ones I toured may not be convenient for you BUT if you are on CityMommy LA (I love!) post and you’ll get all kind of good stuff from the moms who’ve been obsessing about this since they were in high school and didn’t even have kids ;o) (you get the benefit of their homework though!).
And, I think most preschools in LA start at age 2 or 2.5, but require potty trained kiddos . . . that doesn’t mean you HAVE to start at age 2; personally, I think its totally totally fine (and possibly the BEST) to have them start at 3 or even 4. Then they still get a year or two of the “school” experience and the socialization before kindergarden.
Sandra says:
From my personal experience (and from talking to our kindergarten teacher) kids who have experienced preschool for at least 1 year handle kindergarten MUCH better.
And depending on where you plan to send your child TO kindergarten, makes a big difference in where you send your child to preschool. Stratford schools for example start off very quickly to where your child should already know HOW to read and spell at a certain level. I was shocked when a co-worker told me her son was already doing spelling tests with what I considered hard words in his Stratford Kindergarten. His daycare was a preschool setting and very structured. My kids in their kindergarten did not even do spelling tests. My kids learned to read in their kindergarten. And my kids did 2 years each of preschool (age 3 and 4) but it was more play and arts and crafts, songs, 2-3 letters a week where they’d do crafts around them, but not stressful for them at all.
Good luck!
merlotmom says:
Dahling, email me and we’ll get together to discuss. In the meantime, put blinders on and earplugs in. Don’t listen to all those neurotic crazies. They’re all worried about Harvard. It is ridiculous. You will be fine. Annabel will be fine. Literati cafe?
Jill says:
I only went to preschool the winter before kindergarten. I think I went because my mom began working at that time and she likely needed a couple of kid-free hours for errands and stuff.
We live in the suburbs (50-ish miles away from Manhattan) and there were plenty of preschools locally when we needed one for Shane. When I started working he went to preschool then camp at a temple (we’re not Jewish, but they took 2 year olds), then for 2 years he went to a preschool we could walk to, also because I was working and because he enjoyed school. He went back the second year so I didnt have to quit my job when my husband was deployed. Preschool felt righter (I know, righter is not a word) to us than a day care because we were working and felt Shane would benefit more from a school than a day care.
You will know whats right for Annie when the time is nearer. A lot of libraries have Preschool or Nursery School fairs where you can get info from a bunch of schools at once, and that was really helpful.
Mama Bub says:
We live in Orange County and the city with live in, preschool is no big deal. Registration was in March for the start of the school year in September. One city over, WOO BOY. My friend had her daughter on the waiting list since infancy.
Deidre says:
You need to sign her up..I know there are many things are so off beat these days with children and schooling, but don’t miss out as time flies. You want to have choices in a few years not be stuck with the one school you were not crazy about. I have not read any of the other entries, and I don’t want to as I want to tell you what I feel. My daughter has missed out on some things in her childhood, because I was like…I am not signing her up this early….just sayin’! Oh and of course I hope you consider Montessori for her pre-school years. I was a Mont. teacher for years and I can tell you from what I know about Annie, she will thrive in that environment!
Rebecca says:
Preschool as well as private schools are a really big deal around here. If you don’t go to Mary Institute Country Day School, you are destined for failure. They even have a big screening they put the kids through before they are accepted. I sort of stalked that school for awhile to see what they were teaching their preschool kids and I tried to model similar stuff at home.
My daughter did not go to preschool and is now in kindergarten reading on a end of the year first grade level. (Almost second grade level) I worked with her at home. I found and used as many teachable moments as I could. I was fortunate to stay at home with her and have a degree in elementary education.
Which gets me to this…..another thing that is HUGE in this area is homeschooling. So when people asked me about preschool, I just said that I was homeschooling her. And I was.
Jennifer says:
I’m in the same boat. I never went to pre-school and I went to public school my entire life. People look at me like I have 2 heads when I tell them this.
My daughter goes to preschool from 8a-12p M-F. I’ll be honest, the ONLY reason she goes is because it’s free and I need a break.
Otherwise she’d be stuck at home with me like I was with my mom.
LaurieSL says:
Holy cowabunga! I am going through the exact same thing right now! My first daughter is 2 years old and I was home with her for the first year so finding a good daycare nearby was pretty easy when she was 12 months old.
Now I’m 3 months pregnant and went to see three daycares in the past two days. I’m majorly behind (should have called back in October when I found out). I need mid-Oct care and can definately get one daycare and can get Dec 1st at the other daycare, and daycare #3 (church run, super good price and great education system) has no idea on their availability. Of course, I really want the church-run daycare and they’re the most up in the air! It’s so frustrating! We’re probably gonna put down about $300 in deposits for the other two daycares to hold our spot ($100 and $200 deposits). It’s crazy, but you just get through it and try to find something as soon as you know when you’ll need care. Everything will work out, you just have to be flexible (maybe drive farther than you want or do part-time work). It’ll all work out, don’t worry. I live in Seattle, by the way….crazy town here in terms of getting a good daycare/preschool. Speaking of preschool, I put my 1st daughter’s name down at a really good one that takes 2.5 year olds when I found out I was pregnant with her – that was almost 3 years ago – and I haven’t heard from them yet! Haha!
Marin D says:
It’s funny because one of my friends posted a comment on her Facebook about the preschool dilemma. We chose not to put our 4 year-0ld in preschool because we just can’t afford it. My mom has been doing “preschool” with her and her 3 year-0ld cousin. They enjoy it and she does a whole lesson and they make stuff. I feel that is sufficient. She gets plenty of socialization and other things through church and cousins. My friends that teach pre-k for at risk kids and other things in the public schools where I live have reassured me that she will be fine. That is the wisdom I passed on to my friend on FB. She should do what she wants. It isn’t like her son gets no stimulation at home. I want my kids to enjoy their lives while they still can. LOL.
JCF says:
We also live in LA, which is the main reason why my 3 year old is NOT in preschool. It is crazy! The monthly tuition for the preschool that is down the street for my house costs more than my rent. And no, you did not read that wrong. Also, it has a two year waiting list. Also, it is a co-op preschool, so I would have to go work there four times a month! Let’s all just digest that one for a moment!
We are moving to San Jose this summer, and I’m told that preschools are much more reasonable in the suburban areas, which is where we’ll likely be living. I plan on sending him MWF half days only, only to get him used to the whole school routine. I figure with full day, heavily academic kindergarten being the norm these days, I should let him adapt a little bit before-hand. But if it turns out the rumors are false, you had better believe he’ll be staying home with me until he starts K the following fall.
Paige says:
Where we live in South Florida almost all kids are in preschool by 2. We waited until my son turned 3 and he goes half days M/W/F but almost all the kids in his school and many of his peers go M-F full days. Even if the Mom’s stay at home, the kids are still in school all day. We have to register him for next year’s pre-k in the next couple of weeks to ensure him a spot and I’m finding that almost all of the programs are full day and quite expensive. I feel like he shouldn’t be in school all day at this age. I enjoy the time we have together and know these years go so fast. He has the rest of his life to be in school. We have debated homeschooling next year, but we would be the only ones around here making that choice. I do think there is something to be said though for the social skills they learn at preschool. Those skills will make the transition to kindergarten much easier on them.
Amanada M. says:
Finally, something I know something about! I have taught preschool and kindergarten (and fifth and sixth grade, but I don’t think Annie’s quite there yet).
Kindergarten teachers these days basically expect students entering their class to already know their alphabet and how to write their name. When a kid comes in a blank slate, it’s a problem. If you want to teach her those things at home, though, it’s fine. Kids tend to adjust to the social aspects of kindergarten pretty quickly regardless, though being already familiar with a school environment helps.
Getting into a fancy preschool isn’t really a big deal. Just don’t send her to one of the corporate ones, say like, KinderCare. I worked for them and their policies are more profit-oriented than child-oriented. It drove me insane. If you don’t want to go the Fancy Private Preschool route (which I am not really impressed with anyway), try the church route. Church preschools are far better, I’ve found, than corporate preschools.
You could also look into small, family-owned affairs. Those ones you just have to observe the classrooms and get a feel yourself. My grandma worked for 50-ish years at a private but small preschool/kindergarten, so I spent a lot of time there, and it was a great place. They had aviaries!
mythoughtsonthat says:
I have my degree in early childhood and have worked in the field for nearly 30 years. Still, I think preschool is often overrated. Really! Sure, it’s great for kids to learn socialization but there are other ways to do this. Also, preschool where you live (the westside) is very competitive (thus, the waiting lists) and it might be hard to find a relaxed environment based on play. If you’re home with your girl (not working outside the home), simply exposing her to lots of situations where she can play, explore and meet some kids her age but still have plenty of time with you and other family is enough. Just my opinion. Peace.
Susan says:
Wow…I’m really lost on this. I HEARD of competitive preschools, but never in my every day life.
Where I lived, at least in junior high, kids used to scorn other kids who went to pre-school in their youth as being slow and needing extra help. You were humiliated if anyone found out you went to pre-school. That’s absolutely ridiculous, of course, and I thought and think it was entirely baseless, but that’s junior high kids for you….
I did not go to pre-school. I only went to kindergarten, and I was fine. I mostly played, colored, napped, and had stories read to me. I had no idea what to expect in first grade, but I survived(though unfortunately, my first grade teacher was very harsh, and enjoyed bullying nervous students). My future was not horrendously destroyed because I didn’t attend pre-school; I get high grades in college now.
Pre-school or not, I haven’t really noticed any students in my college years with a brighter OR worse future because of pre-school. I think it is painfully overrated.
If you want Annie in pre-school, just because you want her to meet other kids and get used to the setting, or whatever reason you feel is right to you, go for it. She’s your child, and social pressure shouldn’t dictate what you do; go with your heart, and your gut.
Wish I could help you more. My view’s so drastically different from yours, however.
mosey says:
I didn’t go to preschool either. Although they called it nursery school back in the dark ages when I was wee. My Mum liked having me home and it doesn’t seem to have done me any harm. That said, I also agonized over the preschool dilemma for my daughter (now 7). And what I know now is, if the teachers are nurturing and compassionate (and you like them), if there is a lot of imagination-based play, nice snacks, and a place to nap – you’re good to go.
Stef Rene' says:
you make me giggle!
i live in NEE-BRASKA … so i’m not a coastal mom. alas, i have four kids. the youngest is three. my eldest is thirteen. the thirteen year old could read and write when she started kindergarten … she was socialized and civil, but she did not attend any type of preschool. she just followed me around wherever i went for the first five years of her life. the very first person we met at kindergarten round-up was the school principal. the principal asked our hannah, “where did you go to preschool?” hannah replied, “nowhere! my mom and dad wouldn’t let me go!”
we sent our eleven year old to one year of pre-school. she was traumatized. she felt we didn’t love her anymore because by that time we were into baby #3. we thought she’d like it. we were wrong.
our last two did not attend pre-school. my seven year old didn’t even know her colors when she started kindergarten. we thought she might have color blindness. she’s fine. now she says she always knew them. she was just playing with us. kids are WIERD.
do whatever works for you and mike. it won’t amount to a hill of beans in the end. she’ll turn out great either way!
(we don’t use capital letters in nee-braska either)
(just kidding)
(we do but i’m just too lazy to push the shift key)
(just kidding, i’m not lazy, my shift key is just broken)
(just kidding, it’s not broken … i have no excuse for myself)
(just kidding, i do have an excuse but you probably wouldn’t believe me anyway)
(just kidding, you might believe me, but people might laugh)
(just kidding … just kidding)
CorningNY says:
I worked as a preschool teacher in a day care for 6 months and subbed in other preschool rooms. Preschool is nice for a few reasons: it gives you a break from your child when you’re home with her all day, it exposes her to other children and a routine so she has a feel for kindergarten, plus she’ll get to do stuff you don’t want to or think to do (crafts, field trips, etc.)
BUT: preschool rooms with a large number of kids can be very chaotic, especially if several of the kids are challenging–try to find a room with the smallest number of kids (I think 16 w/2 teachers is about right.) Don’t be afraid to visit and observe the room for a while to watch the teachers in action.
My personal choice for my two sons was to start them at age 3 in a Montessori-based program that was two mornings a week, then three mornings a week at age 4 (and 5 for my older son, who had an October birthday and wasn’t quite ready for kindergarten). It was more special for them because it wasn’t every day. And it was a small local nonprofit dedicated preschool, not a preschool in a day care center. Go with your gut about what works best for Annie and how much time you want to part with her!
Becky says:
Preschool in NYC is INSANE and competitive, and has been that way for decades. At the very least, my parents went through so much drama trying to get me into a top-notch one when I was but a wee toddler. (Luckily, I owned those tests. Totally put the blocks in the right holes, or whatnot.) Then, they were able to heave a giant sigh of relief for my little brother, since the school had the policy that younger siblings were automatically accepted.
Anyway, it was all very, you have to get into the right preschool in order to get into the right elementary school in order to get into the right high school in other to get into the right college. (My dad freaked out when I didn’t get into the right elementary school. They had let me do my kindergarten year at my preschool and then, realized that the desired elementary school was basically full by first grade. Absolutely LOVED the school I did wind up going to. It was laid-back, close-knit, and liberal. And then I got into the “right” high school, so everyone was happy in the end.)
aqua6 says:
As a former teacher, I think the primary purpose of preschool is socialization. Kids learn to listen to other adults, interact and solve problems with their peers and get to play and get dirty somewhere other than home! The preschools that are forcing 2-3 year olds to “write” or “read” are not developmentally appropriate.
We started preschool this year with our daughter. It’s a class of only two year olds and they play for two hours. It’s only twice a week and since it’s a co-op, it’s well-priced and I “work” there once a week. There are other duties involved since it does have parent participation but I think it’s been a good transition for her. She loves to go and is consistently the muddiest or most paint-covered kid there.
We’re up north in San Jose and the “open houses” for preschools are in January/February for next year. I would say wait at least another year, maybe two! Preschools in our area (not daycares that have longer hours) range from under $200/month for co-op to $700. She’ll be fine either way!
Glenda says:
I didn’t go to preschool but both of my kids went. My oldest at 4 and the youngest at 3. When they both went to Kindergarten they wanted to go to school, neither cried, and both knew their ABC’s, colors, how to write name, address, phone #’s etc. I worked with both of them at home too. But thinking of preschool while pregnant or the baby is a mere 3 mos is insane. I wouldn’t worry about it until Annie is 3 or 4 and if you don’t think she needs to go don’t send her. I’m sure you and Mike will show her all she needs to learn at home.
Katherine says:
OMG, you didn’t sign her up for preschool already? SHE’LL NEVER GET INTO HARVARD!!! DOOOOM!
(Seriously, I’m a fan of preschool, but don’t stress it. I didn’t apply way in advance, and we found a decent one without a lot of problems. I was even on a waiting list, and it moved quickly. We’re in the Bay Area, which is probably equally nutty about such things if not more so)
Kristen McD says:
We didn’t (and won’t) do pre-school. My six year old went to pre-kindergarten when he was four. Just a three hour a day, five day a week deal at the public school he went on to attend kindergarten, and now first grade at. My daughter will do the same.
Pre-kindergarten was optional (some places – so is kindergarten I guess) but I am glad he went. Kindergarten is much more academic than it was when we went, even though they’re not technically required to know anything before they go. It would be a rough year, starting from scratch.
But pre-school… Nah. You read to her, you play with her. I wouldn’t bother paying someone to do what you already do at home.
Emily says:
Having taught kindergarten last year, I found that the students who attended Pre-K were extremely well prepared for kindergarten and often excelled at important skills such as reading and counting. They were also usually really well behaved because they understood the rules and expectations of being in school. With that said, I think preschool can be a good way to gradually introduce the whole school experience to young kids. Right now, my cousin is attending a “Mommy and Me” preschool class twice a week with her two year olds, which I think is a great way to start. One idea for finding a preschool might be to inquire at your local Jewish Community Center. They usually have really good yet reasonably priced preschool programs that are open to families of all faiths. Hope that helps!
Shosh says:
I don’t live in an area that has such preschool politics, but in my community it is definitely the norm to send kids starting at age 2 or 3. My daughter is 3 and she goes 5 days a week from 9 AM to 1 PM. In our neighborhood this is standard – there isn’t even an option for less days or shorter hours, in fact lots of kids stay until 5.
While it is expensive and it seems silly for me to send her since I don’t work during the day, it is SO amazing for both of us. She LOVES it. She loves her friends, and the projects, and the playtime, and music, etc… and it is basically the only time she isn’t with me so I feel it’s good for her to learn to be separated. Also she learns to follow rules, be in a group setting, etc….
I CERTAILNY do not buy into this crazy preschool mindset of sending to the best school, academics, etc… Thats just ridiculous.
When you feel that you are both ready – it could be when she is 2, 3, 4 – whatever- send her somewhere that has nice teachers, some good toys, arts and crafts, and a nice playground. That’s all they need!
Good luck!
Nicole says:
I live in Boston, which is equally preschool obsessed! I personally, however, was most concerned with picking the school that was the best match for my daughters (I have 3) They all went to different schools – for example, my littlest (now 5) was so shy and quiet, I made the choice of a small, homey preschool with a grandmother for a teacher. For my oldest, she is really into science, so I sent her to a preschool at a local science center. The best advice I have for you, is to start looking around, just to get an idea on what type of school might feel the best for you…but I didn’t have a problem registering them at ages 2 1/2…but that’s here on the East Coast Good luck…it’s a fun process, I promise!
Jenni Williams says:
In florida preschool is free for four year olds, so pretty much everyone goes. BUT you dont sign up until the spring of the year they start.
Veronica Turner says:
Well I was stay at home for each of my kids first 2 years, then I sent them to “preschool” or daycare.
My sister-in-law pays 167 a week for her son…
Charlane says:
Yeah Preschool is a toughie. My daughter is 2, I started touring and interviewing when she was 22 Months. And expensive! Holy Moley Me Oh and My!!! I don’t know if it is because she has a few special needs, but one school I really wanted her to go to was $66.00 a day! A DAY! That is $330.00 a week… $1300 and change a month…for 3 YEARS! (because she is special needs, she is eligible to start at 2Years and stay until kindergarden at 5 years). I’m not sure about how much everyone else makes but after I pay for my families health insurance, life insurance, dental, annuity, long term disability, and every other deduction under the sun… I would be forced to eat much much less (maybe not such a bad thing) and live much less fancy (like without running water and electricity) to pay for her to go to that PRE-school. Oh boy I can’t wait to see what SCHOOL will cost if PRE-school is this much! YIKES!
Colleen says:
I am so glad I don’t live in a city where we have to sign our kids up for preschool before birth. Seriously that’s crazy. We send our boys to preschool part-time. 8:30-Noon. And for 9 months it cost about $9,000. Yup. But, as the saying goes, we get what we pay for. It’s pretty much the best place ever and I adore every teacher, administrator, etc that I have met there. I went and toured several others before making the call to send our boys to this place and really it’s about comfort level. I had crazy anxiety over someone I didn’t know watching my children. I worried obsessively over whether they were safe or scared or missing me. This place? Put every one of my fears to rest where the others did not. If you tour places you will know. You can see the looks on the children’s faces. You can tell if they are happy. You can look at the classrooms and see if they are clean, safe, inspiring and playful. And make sure there is plenty of green space, as in, outdoor play areas that have more than a pitiful ball or solitary tricycle to play on. I have no doubt, none, that my boys will be ready for school now. I had serious, serious anxiety over this. Now I’ve moved on to the fact that my 5 year old rode on a school bus for a preschool field trip to the zoo. No seat belt! Over a HUGE bridge. Two adults to watch 15 scampering children. GAH! I took photos of him that morning so I would be able to give the cops an image of him THAT DAY just in case he got kidnapped by a zookeeper or something else happened. I seriously didn’t sleep the night before that field trip. How ever am I going to survive them going to college? Hug. This is the first step. And it sucks.
MrsP says:
I had the same dilema as you Heather, but now I’m happy I enrolled my son in Pre-school. I enrolled him when he was 3 1/2 and he has learned so much in 1 year. I have a friend who’s kid did not go to pre-school and he has had a really hard time with school, since now they expect them to know Algebra by the time they’re in Kindergarten!!! My son’s pre-school teacher gave us a list of what they are expected to know by the time they are in Kindergarten and it is ridiculous. To name a few, they must count to 30 without messing up, know their colors, shapes and several 3 letter words. I wouldn’t give it much thought just yet, but once she hits 3 or 4 see if maybe it is something she would enjoy. My son did and I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Kayla says:
Seems like you already have quite a bit to read, so I’d understand if this is never seen. Also, please take my “advice” with quite a bit of grain of salt because this commenter has no kids.
With that being said – IF you and Mike would like to go down that route with Annie, I have three bits of advice.
1. As much as you can help it, don’t stress too much about it. I never roll my eyes so hard as when I hear of parents freaking OUT because the “best” pre-school is filled up. This is not Harvard or Yale admissions, this is preschool. In my very humble opinion, it should be a light hearted learning/playing enviorment that just generally gets a kid used to the idea of school.
2. If you’d like to sign her up for preschool, it is something to consider “soon” because they do tend to fill up fast in high population areas like LA.
3. I would not, however, send her off to said preschool until she was four. I hear of parents sending their kids to preschool at three and even two, and shake my head wildly. That is FAR too young in my opinion. At two or three, I think they’ll just become desensitized to the idea of school before even hitting Kindergarten. :p
Anyway, those are my measly two cents for the day. Hope it helped a little.
Sunny says:
I am a mom to three (and one in heaven). Ages, 17, 14 and 9. None of my children went to preschool or daycare. I am a SAHM and felt since I was a SAHM, how could I send my kids to school while I was home? Why start them so young when I can teach them the basics to prepare them for kindergarten. They are going to spend plenty of time in school…K-college. I bought workbooks approriate for their age. They didn’t miss out on socializing either. That’s what playdates are for and there’s also organized sports for their age group. My kids fit right in and adapted perfectly when it was time for kindergarten. My two oldest were at the top of their class academically and socially. My youngest did very well too. My oldest will be going off to college soon and we are proud to say that he has never struggled in school and has a very bright future! My middle son was valedictorian in 8th grade and has his sights set on doing it again when he graduates high school.:) My youngest is doing very well in 4th grade and is a happy, bubbly, chatty little girl with lots of friends. I’m not here to brag about my kids, I’m trying to make a point. Your little one doesn’t need preschool. Don’t feel pressured to put your sweet girl in preschool if you are having doubts. Don’t let time be the factor either. If it’s meant to be, it will happen. You have such a great relationship with her already. Imagine how much more that will develop if you have her all to yourself! These early years are so very precious. I can’t tell you how precious they are and how fast they will go by and before you know it, your sweet little girl is graduating high school! I still can’t believe my first baby will be graduating in May! Time with your child is more valuable than anything else in this world. Good luck with your decision. Do what you feel is right for your beautiful little girl.:)
Joy says:
ok so I may get CPS called on me for saying this but my son didn’t go to preschool! I know, how bad am I? and get this my daughter didn’t either!!! OMG I am the worst parent ever-whatever
My son started kindergarten shortly after he turned 5 so he was considered a “young” kindergartner, he had to be tested by the Kindergarten Readiness teacher. she said he would be just fine and get this he was, having never step foot in preschool before his first day of school. He is now in 3rd grade and is making straight A’s has always been in the top of his class and never gets in trouble! so I believe it really is the parent who makes the child not the preschool. some kids may need it but by all means don’t just send them to send them cause that is what everyone else is doing.
I babysit a little girl whose parent’s just started her in preschool but I think she needed it, I won’t go into details but I think the teachers could do more for her than I was qualified to handle.
My daughter will start kindergarten next year and I think she will be just fine, I guess we will see what happens when she starts
Anna Ellis says:
I actually got a notice in the mail (I live in Austin) right before my son turned 1 and it said, Sign up your son now for pre-school! I was like what? I didn’t go to pre-school either… so this shocked me. Plus the fact that now that he is going to be 4 this year I was just informed, because his b-day is after September 1st he can’t even start Pre-K until NEXT year when he is 5. So they sent the notice almost 5 years early. Re-donk-ulus.
Michelle Pixie says:
UGH! I put my oldest in preschool for one year before she started kindergarten do to all the pressure. Then when my next one came up I bucked the system and kept her home with me…I wasn’t ready to let go. Now that the baby just turned two I probably should start thinking about it but again I don’t want to let go so again I will have another child who will not be attending preschool. I do many activities with her and I just don’t think you need a preschool to socialize. Then again I lean toward homeschooling the older ones more and more everyday, so there you have it! Good Luck!
Miriam says:
I didn’t read all the responses, but as a fellow West LA Angelno I know your pain.
1) There are some schools who will consider applications until the fall before you child will start. For instance, if Annie were to start in 2013 (most schools need kids to be 2 years 9 months) you would need to submit an application at the end of 2012.
2) Some schools offer a “toddler program” which is basically mommy and me – but it helps you get a place in the preschool.
3) Annie will need to start K in 2015, so you are looking at 2 years of preschool. Our twins could have had 3 years of preschool – but we didn’t start them. Consquently we had trouble finding a place because the most spots available are when the kids are first eligible, after that there are usually only a few spots since most kids move from “room to room.”
Coping with Preschool Panic is a good resource as is The Whitney Guide. Also you can go online and check reviews via. greatschool.com and Savvy source.
I think preschool is important, I really do. My kids are thriving in it – but it’s not for every family.
Laura says:
I teach at a small co-op preschool. Our program is pretty competitive to get into, but it’s play-based and not academically rigorous. There are certainly a lot of different types of programs, so you should just visit some schools and see where you and Mike feel comfortable. The kids in our program are eligible to start at two and don’t need to be potty trained, but all places have different requirements. Don’t worry about getting her into the “right” school so she can go to Yale, it’s most important for you and her to be happy, and the important learning at that age is the social piece. Good luck!
Amy Collen says:
Okay, I have read some of the responses. Well, first I want to say to any parent on here who has a child with special needs. Instead of enrolling them at a private preschool you should first have them evaluated by the school district. They may be eligible for a special education preschool (my child is currently attending one), and that is free. The child will also have an IEP which is a whole other story. Just wanted to throw that out there.
Now, my other child will most likely be attending a regular preschool. I am thinking a co-op one. However, I haven’t really researched it yet :). I will admit I am pretty laid back about the entire thing. The whole preschool thing sounds a lot scarier than it is. Heather, I think if I were you I would just relax, do a little research, don’t put any expectations on yourself, and take things slow. Maybe make a list of potential schools, check a few out, check out the costs, and then make a decision. Several moms in my mom’s group belong to co-op preschools. The important thing is not to get caught up in the panic. Things will work out for the best you’ll see :).
catherine lucas says:
It sounds like a very american thing. I personally think it is insane to cash out 700 dollar and some for preschool or kindergarten. I wonder if the school is a status thing… In Belgium, most kids start around 3 and 1/2, so did mine, and in the beginning I only sent him before noon. He still took a nap in the afternoon. What is all that pressure on people for kids to be literate before anything else? They go to school but often do not get rules at home and a few I know are growing up like real neanderthalers when it comes to manners, but they do go to school… I’d say teach them at home what the real values are, and think about school when it is time to think about school. Starting thinking about that when the baby is still a foetus seems utterly ridiculous to me… Sorry! They have so little time to be little, why speed it all up for a status race?
Brenda Vicario says:
My daughter is 3 1/2 and I started looking at preschools when she was about 1. Of course I also plan birthday parties a year in advance as that is just my personality. Though some of the best preschools might have waiting lists and do need you to get on that waiting list very in advance, it is possible to find a preschool last minute, at least where I live in Omaha, NE. My daughter goes to a private Montessori preschool and we pay $3600 a year for the regular school months 5 half days a week. The kids are off for summer though their are some optional summer programs that cost extra. I am so glad that my daughter is in preschool, especially this specific one. She is only 3 and knows her planets and continents and she is learning French:)
Momma Uncensored says:
i live in the same type of area (for now…) metro NYC is a drag. my response is generally.. my 2.5y will be in school soon enough.. is very social, bright, and enjoying her time with her momma and baby brother. i’m not a fan of having her in “school” five days per week.. she goes to a 2s program once a week and has other fun things that take up her time.
it just feels like there is so much pressure!!! i’m with you.. i went to “school” 2x a week when i was four and then off to kindergarten..
Shel says:
I worked for a family physician for years who always advised not do pre-school as kids are in school for at least 13 years (K-12) and that you don’t want them to burn out really early. You may want to ask your physician his/her opinion. I sure wouldn’t stress over it when Annie isn’t even a year old. My son did go to pre-school ( 2 half days a week when 3yo and 3 half days when 4yo) and he enjoyed it. He went to a non-denominational church pre-school, and he mainly went because his daycare provider took her kids and we decided he could go too. It really wasn’t a major deal to me. I’m glad he went, but would not have regretted it if he hadn’t.
Lucy says:
Wow, I hate all this preschool pressure. I was a teacher until I had my babies and I an going to keep them home as long as I can. As long as you teach them and read, read, read, there is no place like home. They will be in school soon enough for a long time. Small kids only need a few close friends to socialize with, not 30.
Michelle H. says:
I think you should do what you want to do for your child and not worry about peer pressure.
I live in suburbs of DC. Some of the preschools can be very cut throat. My kids go to …. gasp – DAYCARE – so I don’t know anything about how early the preschools let you sign up. I thought it was first priority for returning students the February before September start and then the parents camp out for any other openings.
I do know for daycare…. I advise newly expectant parents to sign up the minute they are pregnant… or before! There are always long wait lists around here. Especially for the better places. Not many infant spots as it’s not a money make due to low teacher to child ratio.
I know… I”m terrible for working. But my kids are fine!
Meredith says:
Didn’t read through the other comments but you must watch the movie Nursery University- it is a documentary that chronicles crazy NYC parents going through the application process- Ridonculous!
Tricia says:
I’m a former Montessori teacher and currently working on a doctorate in education neuroscience focusing on early childhood, so I’m far from unbiased on the subject, and clearly believe that early childhood (0-6) is hugely important for a child’s development. That said, I don’t think to-(fancy)school or not-to-(fancy)school is a cut and dry question. You have many many readers’ as well as your own personal testimony to show that lots of people skip preschool altogether and end up great and smart and just fine. Your Annie will be fine too, she’s being raised in a bright and busy and loving household by two smart people who care a lot about her and are providing her with an engaging and interactive environment with lots of great experiences. And a dog. Of course, I venture to say that your readership is perhaps not representative of the whole population in terms of education and resources… to say that they ‘made it’ without is hardly a biased sample, as those who didn’t fare as well are probably less likely to be readers or friends of yours. I think preschool can be wonderful, or it can be a waste of time, or it can be downright lousy, it all depends. The fanciest or most prestigious or those with longest wait lists aren’t necessarily the best, nor the best fit. From my perspective, it’s not entirely about academic prep or only about socializing, a good school (and in my experience a well-run Montessori is really the best possible scenario) is about giving your child the time, space, experience, and means to develop into an autonomous little being. To help her come to know the workings of the world and how to move herself through it successfully. It’s about cultivating a love of learning and exploration, an ability to make choices and follow through, to experience consequences, to learn how to interact with others’ respectfully, and expect kindness and respect in return. Montessori does this and more, their academics are really unmatched, and yet when done well, not stifling or forced. Do you NEED pre-school? No. But if you do opt for it, don’t be afraid that it must squash out the happy childhood of your little one – truly that is not the goal. Another thought… the ‘OMG it’s so expensive!’ comments are a little saddening… it’s a serious problem in early childhood education across the country (not necessarily in other countries) that early childhood teachers are often regarded as little more than babysitters, and paid as such. We entrust the care and education of our youngest children to those from whom we pay far less than we do primary or secondary, let alone post-secondary educators.
Christine says:
We looked into preschool/daycare for our twins. If I continued to work full time and send our girls to preschool/daycare I would have brought home $215 with the rest going to the school to raise my kids – insane!
aimee says:
Ok I work at a corporate childcare center that is all over the United States. I am a toddler teacher and love it! The great thing about preschool is that kids are exposed to all different types of ethnic backgrounds. Each family is different and so are their reasons for sending their child to preschool. You and Mike do your research and decide whats best for Annie and you both:) Good luck to you all!
Ania says:
We had decided to send our son to preschool at 4 only because he had some sensory issues, and it was suggested that he would learn from other kids how to touch appropriately (not too hard, give others space), and work on impulse control. It was a rough first 3 months, but it was the best decision! When he went to kindergarten, he was ready to socialize properly, and not alienate the other kids (or the teacher for that matter).
Our daughter didn’t have these little tics, but she wanted to go to preschool so badly! So, we send her for 3 hours, 3 days a week. She learned to write her name within weeks of being there, it was amazing. And I do have to say, it’s nice to get a few hours back to yourself. We mamas have too much to do already!
You know your child, and you will know if she’ll adapt well to kindergarten without any need to “socialize” her first. Don’t fret! She’ll do great regardless of what you decide… she’s such a lively, vibrant girl already, just like her big sister.
Colleen says:
I’ll start by saying I haven’t read all of the above comments… so maybe my point has been made. It’s not a developmental or social perspective… more logistical.
Before having my daughters my background was in child development and I worked in a number of child development centers/day cares/ preschools. I can tell you from my last job I know that a lot of places have wait lists. The wait list book was my job… and it was FULL. Some people put their kids on lists for the infant and toddler programs and were lucky to get in by the time the kids were 3 or 4.
So… if places you might be interested in have free wait lists…. it doesn’t hurt to fill out a form.
Molly says:
Oh preschool. i worked in a preschool my senior year of college. It was run through my school. The kids tried to smack each other and eat playdough. and parents paid like $7,000 for that? Oy vey.
Heidi says:
In my experience the ones obsessing over “preschool” at such an early age are really talking about a more academic daycare that accepts part-timers and has programs for children under 3. Very popular in big cities, but not really preschool in the traditional sense, though they do call themselves that. True preschools do not provide all day care and close for the summer months. They also typically only take children 3 and up who are potty trained.
My youngest is in preschool right now. The school is open 9-1, no afternoon hours. Three year olds go 2 days/week from 9-11:30, cost $120/mo. (Not affiliated with any religious group — in our area church preschools run less. We live in the biggest city of a small state.) Children a year away from K usually do 3-4 days/wk and may stay for a “long day” until 1pm. Registration takes place Jan/Feb/Mar for the following September. My girlfriends tell me similar 1st year preschool programs run in the $250-350/mo range in big cities.
Allison says:
Sounds exactly the same as mine, and I’m in a less fancy town in Southern California. Ours is the same price, same hours, etc. Love it.
Hannah says:
I went to a English/French Montessori pre-school, which enabled me to learn some basic writing, reading, language and math skills. I was more into the painting and frolicking than the learning, but I would have suffered in my first few years of private school if I had not had the extra practice beforehand. I think that preschooling prepares a child for life-long learning by conditioning them at an early age. I’m sure any child could perform fine in kindergarden without preschool, but why not ease them into it if you can?
eva says:
Preschool Schmeschool! I never went to preschool and I went out to be a University graduate and have a well paying job *gasp too*
My daughter will only go to preschool if my work schedule gets to heavy and we need to enroll her for childcare. But that won’t be for another 2 years so we will cross that bridge when it comes (like you said)
We are big socializers (and she is big time) so we are out and about in activities all the time.. plus I am a developmental specialist so I teach her everything myself I’m not worried
Jane says:
Just to let you know you aren’t crazy, and need not make yourself crazy…
I live in the valley and faced the same predicament. I ended up skipping the interviews and tours at all the “in” private preschools and we chose an “old school” church-based nursery school. It isn’t overtly religious and welcomed my child, who is the product of an interfaith household.
The school is basic, developmental and the focus is on play…not play from a theoretical place, but you know…just play and letters and counting and stuff. My son loves it.
Keep it simple. LA can drag you down with all of this stuff. our kids will all thrive if we keep their homes healthy and engaging.
Good luck!
Amy says:
I live in LA too and lots of folks are totally insane about preschool. I was clueless and also not really worried about it, so we ended up at a pre-school that was perfect for us, but definitely not one of the top of the line ones. It was the only one I could find that would take my son at age 2 (his little sister was 8 months at the time and kicking my butt) and un potty-trained. Oh, and that was reasonably close to home. It worked out GREAT. I don’t think either of mu kids suffered for not being in one of those really fantastic reggio or montesori or whatever other theory based places.
My advice to you is not worry about it. There are tons of preschools around and you can find one you like that will take her if you lower your standards just a bit. All they really need is loving teachers, after all.
Amber says:
I live in MN and we have some preschool politics here. Inorder to get my daughter into a montessori preschool as opposed to the one in our neighborhood we had to not only be interviewed and file an application but we applied about a year before we were accepted. I can’t imagine what we’ll have to do about school. Where we live has some good schools, but they’re either expensive private schools or charter schools with huge waiting lists. Should be fun!
Madeleine says:
None of us 6 brothers/sisters of the 70/80’s ever went to preschool. We actually started school in Kindergarten, gasp!
We all did quite well regardless. With my preemie son Spencer (27 weeker) I was in no way going to put him in jeapordy of daycare/preschool. (Have you ever noticed that in Caillou they call it “playschool” like in the old days.) Anyways, everyone thought I was such a bad momma for keeping him out for 4 years. I would have kept him out another but the pressure of those around got to me. He had no problem at all and I can honestly say he is now more behind than when he started. YES! He was well ahead of his peers and now all my hard work seems to have vanished. Hmmmmm Here’s to kindergarten next year.
Jaclyn says:
my daughter started Kindergarten this year. She did not go to traditional preschool. We did many activities where she was able to socialize, learn from other adults (not just me) and is well-adjusted. our opinion on the matter came down to what the goal of preschool would be and whether it fit for us and our daughter. We found that the things we would hope to “gain” from preschool (socialization, learning to follow instructions, being comfortable without mommy) we could get through the other non-preschool, but preschool-like activities we were already doing. A weekly bible study where she had her own “class” separate from me for 2 hours (basically like preschool, but with the educational focus being bible study), a Mommy & Me Pre-K program that also met once a week, and had a teacher who worked on the letters, numbers and other concepts with the kids while the moms had discussion time (separate from the kids, it was co-op in that we each held jobs and had responsibilities to make the program function). Gym class and then lots of hikes, museum outings, park playdates etc. with me and her younger brother and other friends. To enroll her in preschool would have meant dropping these other VERY enriching programs and it also would have cost us a LOT of money compared to the nearly FREE programs (I donate to them but there was no FEE, well except gym class but we would have kept that going regardless of preschool or not). I am not against preschool by any means; I just don’t believe it to be the ONLY route for all families. So I AM against REQUIRED preschool as many legislators have tried numerous times over my lifetime to put into law because I think we are all capable of making the right decisions for our families needs/desires. There are many people who believe if you don’t send your kids to preschool they will not succeed in Kindergarten, etc. but I just do not believe that to be so. My child is doing fantastically in Kindergarten. I do agree that if the alternative to preschool is to sit at home and watch T.V.; then by all means preschool is a MUCH more appropriate setting for that child to thrive and thus be prepared for school, etc. etc. Good luck with your decision making! It IS very confusing to navigate all the different types of preschools, what they each offer, their location, and what is right for your child/family, but I don’t think its necessarily something that needs to be stressed over just yet!
Shannon says:
Heather – Before you even start to think about putting Annie on a list for preschools you have to choose a type first. This whole thing is ridiculous & overwhelming. But I remember reading this article & finding it somewhat helpful.
http://wondertime.go.com/learning/article/choosing-a-preschool.html