Do you have something in your house where you look at it and you just KNOW that it will injure you? That it’s only a matter of time. In our house, it’s the baby gate. Mike is six feet three inches tall, and steps over the gate like it’s a no higher than a curb. I am a full foot shorter, and the baby gate has been plotting against me ever since Madeline started crawling.
Annabel figured out if she throws her body weight against the gate she can knock it over (seriously, it’s like a scene out of Jurassic Park – she’s looking for a weakness!). So, we had to secure the gate in creative ways, using foot stools and other miscellaneous heavy furniture. It’s a hassle to move the furniture, so it’s easier to step over the gate than open it. (I have no pictures, you’ll have to take my word.)
Last Friday, I was carrying Annabel back to the gated community (so much more pleasant than “baby jail”) and went to step over the fence. I didn’t step quite high enough. My right foot (specifically, my toes) got caught in the gate. My momentum kept carrying me forward, and suddenly, Annie and I were falling. The next part is a blur, as my mom instincts kicked in. I twisted and contorted my body and somehow landed on the floor with Annie laughing, completely fine. It was all a big ride for her!
Unfortunately, my ankle and shin IMMEDIATELY looked BAD. Like send-Mike-text-messages-to-come-home-from-work-bad. The whole lower front half of my leg was dark red/purple within five minutes of the fall.
You know when a bad time to go to the emergency room at a university hospital is? The Friday before Halloween. I saw all kinds of drunk injuries – AT EIGHT PM. A fraternity boy wearing a Chile flag who’d had a BEER BOTTLE BROKEN ACROSS HIS FACE. I stared at him with my mouth hanging open. All I could think was that his mom was going to be sooooo pissed.
After an exam and xray, I was finally released from the ER around 11:30ish with the diagnosis of slight ankle sprain and deep bone bruising.
Wanna see the bruises and swelling? I took these yesterday with my camera phone (so excuse the quality).
The shin and ankle already look SO much better.
Not to be outdone, my dad decided he wanted to go to the ER the next night, and dropped a TV on the middle finger of his right hand. He needed seven stitches (gag) AND he broke a bone.
Don’t worry – the TV still works. Phew.
THEN. That same night, my cousin Leah though it would be awesome to grab a knife by the wrong end, and slashed her middle finger on her LEFT hand. She did NOT go to the ER because she knows stitches are disgusting. But the joke’s on her because her cut got infected and now she’s on antibiotics.
I hope the rest of 2010 is medically boring! DO YOU HEAR ME MIKE THAT’S NOT A CHALLENGE!