Ever since I wrote a post explaining the delicious magic of cookie butter, I get tagged whenever a new cookie butter product comes out at Trader Joe’s. Yes, what started as a simple spread has become a product line – nay, a lifestyle. It’s my not-so-secret hope that cookie butter will follow in the footsteps of pumpkin and soon have oodles of ridiculous cookie butter merchandise. Cookie butter face mask? Hot cookie butter hair treatment? Let’s make this happen, Science.
Anyway, when a new cookie butter concoction hits the market, I try it because what kind of cookie butter addict, er, fan would I be if I didn’t? A bad one, obviously. Currently, my Trader Joe’s has nine cookie butter-related confections in stock, and I have ranked them in order of least to most delicious.
9. Cookies & Creme Cookie Butter
IMPOSTER! Do not be fooled by the words “cookie butter” on the label. This is not cookie butter. It’s basically swill.
Serving suggestion: Give it to your enemies.
8. Speculoos Cookies
Okay, this is technically not cookie butter, but it IS the main ingredient so it merits a mention. Plus they are delicious.
Serving suggestion: Spread cookie butter on top of them.
7. Cookie Butter Ice Cream
This sounds so promising, but its cookie butter to ice cream ratio is disappointingly low. One of my Facebook friends suggested drizzling melted cookie butter over the top of a bowl of this ice cream, saying that the cookie butter then hardens over the cold ice cream. She’s currently in the running for a Nobel Prize.
Serving Suggestion: Melted cookie butter on top, obviously.
6. Cookie Butter Sandwich Cookies
The cookies on this box are lying to you. It looks like you’re going to get a decadent hunk of cookie butter nestled between two butter cookies. Instead you’ll get a layer of cookie butter that’s so thin you’ll wonder how the cookies are even sticking together. However, those butter cookies are LEGIT. Like, melt in your mouth.
Serving suggestion: Dip these in cookie butter.
5. Cookie and Cocoa Swirl
This stuff is good, but really, really sweet. Eat it if you love giving your dentist fistfulls of your hard-earned money.
Serving suggestion: With milk and a tooth brush.
4. Cookie Butter Cheesecake Bites
These are ideal for the nights when you really want cookie butter and cheesecake, but the physical act of smearing cookie butter onto plain cheesecake is too exhausting.
Serving suggestion: The whole box, obviously.
3. Cookie Butter Cups
Don’t buy these unless you want to gain a pants size. These would have occupied the number one slot if they were made with milk chocolate. I like dark chocolate but I think it is a bit overpowering.
Serving suggestion: Give them all to me.
2. “Smooth” Cookie Butter
The original spread is an excellent gateway food to all things cookie butter. It’s flavor is full and sweet, but never overpowering. However, it will always come in second to its crunchy brother.
Serving suggestion: Get the crunchy cookie butter.
1. Crunchy Cookie Butter
The king of the cookie butter products. It doesn’t get any better than the crunchy cookie butter, my friends.
Serving suggestion: Send your guilt and your skinny jeans on vacation and eat this with a spoon.