The Daily Log of Heather Spohr

1:00 AM – Go to bed.

3:00 AM – Get baby back to sleep.

3:12 AM – Get baby back to sleep.

3:30 AM – Give up, bring the baby to bed and give her a bottle.

3:31 AM – Fall asleep giving the baby a bottle.

4:30 AM – Wake up soaked in formula, roll over, too tired to care.

6:13 AM – Mike’s alarm goes off. Pray baby doesn’t hear it.

7:15 AM – Say goodbye to Mike, collapse back into bed.

8:01 AM – Annie wakes up and WANTS TO PLAY RIGHT NOW OMG!

9: 15 AM – Feed Annie breakfast. End up wearing most of it.

10:30 AM – Try to get Annabel down for a morning nap. Fail.

11:45 AM – Annie finally sleeps. Use the bathroom and take off oatmeal-covered shirt.

11:59 AM – Annie wakes up and WANTS TO PLAY RIGHT NOW OMG!

12:00 PM to 2:00 PM – Listen to Annabel test her vocal cords. Consider ear plugs.

2:15 PM – Remember to eat. So what if it’s baby food?

2:45 PM – Annie finally sleeps. Manage to check email.

2:59 PM – Annie wakes up and WANTS TO PLAY RIGHT NOW OMG!

3:00 PM – Watch Oprah. Obviously.

4:00 PM – Rigby barks indignantly. Realize you haven’t fed her, then try not to gag at how badly her food smells.

4:30 PM – Wonder if Annie is some kind of robot or alien that doesn’t need sleep.

4:35 PM – Answer emails while also taking a conference call while also eating pretzels while the baby climbs me like a jungle gym. Manage to not scream when Annie yanks on my temple hair.

5:45 PM – Process photos while Annie plays in her jumper.

6:01 PM – Try to write with one hand while Annie bites on the fingers of my other hand.

6:40 PM – Mike comes home! Rejoice!

6:45 PM – 7:45 PM – Eat dinner while writing three posts while answering emails while uploading photos while tweeting while skyping while texting. Get totally confused and say the F word to my mom on the phone. Wonder when I even got ON the phone.


7:46 – 8:40 PM – Try to figure out what Annie wants. She doesn’t want to play on the floor. She doesn’t want to swing. She doesn’t want to jump. She doesn’t want to bounce. She doesn’t want to eat. She doesn’t want to sleep. She doesn’t want to be held. She doesn’t want to not be held. SHE IS A COMPLICATED WOMAN.

8:45 PM – Annie falls asleep in a very twisty position in my lap while clinging to my right hand. Fear moving her.

8:46 – 10:00 PM – Type with my left hand. Curse being right handed.

10:05 PM – Finally get Annie in bed.

10:10 PM – Start retyping everything my left hand typed.

12: 45 AM – Wake up on the couch with my laptop on my stomach. Consider taking a shower. Laugh.

1:00 AM – Fall into bed.