When we moved into our house, we got a new land line that I jokingly refer to as the Kathy Line, because Mike’s mom is the only person who ever calls on it. Everyone else calls us directly on our cell phones. This means that whenever our land line rings, Mike answers it, since it’s always for him.

Yesterday our phone rang nine times, and it was only Mike’s mom four times. Just kidding! She actually called twice. Seven calls, all asking for Eric. The first time, Mike told the caller that she had the wrong number. The phone rang immediately after he hung up, and when he answered it the caller “made an angry noise” and hung up.

Me: What’s an angry noise?
Mike: Like a deep sigh, like a HMMPH.

Twenty minutes later, the phone rang again. Mike answered, and another woman asked for Eric.

Mike: There’s no Eric here. What number are you trying to reach?
Caller: [our number] Why you playing, Eric? I know it’s you.
Mike: Um…I’m Mike. There’s no Eric here, sorry ma’am.
Caller: Liar!

A few calls like this later and we were both going nuts. When the phone rang for the sixth time, Mike and I looked at each other.

Mike: You get it.
Me: No way!

chattin' on the phone
Annie: HELLO! HELLO PHONE! IT’S GRAMMA! ANNIE SAY HI!

He finally picked up the phone.

Mike: Hi, this is Eric.
Me: !!!!!!!!
Caller: Hey Eric, I had SUCH a good time with you this weekend! Why didn’t you call me?
Mike: OH NO! I was just kidding, I’m not Eric, we’ve just been getting a lot of calls for him and I thought it would be funny to answer as him and you know what, I’m sorry. I’m not Eric.
Caller: Um, what?

Then he hung up.

Me: I can’t believe you did that! What were you thinking?
Mike: I clearly wasn’t.

The phone rang again.

Annie: GRAMMA!
Mike: Heather! You have to answer it!
Me: Dammit Mike!

If there is one thing I really dislike, it’s talking on the phone.

Me: Hello?
Caller: WHAT THE HELL! Where is Eric?!
Me: I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.
Caller: I don’t think so! How do you know Eric?
Me: Um…I think that some guy is giving out our number to a bunch of women. But have a nice day!

After that, we unplugged our phone…which is probably why Mike’s mom only called twice.

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