A year ago, I was folding up tiny pink things and taking scary self-portraits:

18/365: nine months

Time is funny. With Maddie’s death and my pregnancy with Annie, each day felt like an eternity. And yet, here I am 360 days after Annie’s birth, and I can’t believe it’s been a year. It feels longer, and it feels much, much shorter.

We’ve been working on Annie’s birthday party plans. It’s hard for me not to go overboard. I want her to look back at the pictures and video and think, “WOW! Look at that celebration for me!” And of course, the rational part of me knows that it doesn’t matter how many people sing her happy birthday or eat cake, but I can’t help it.

Selfishly, it’s more than just a celebration for Annie’s birthday. It’s a celebration that our little family made it through a year. We’ve managed to live and go on even if we aren’t intact.

Annabel has given us more smiles and laughs in a year than I thought I’d have in my lifetime. And we are giving her…a party.

So yeah…it’s hard for me to not go overboard.