I have been laughing a lot lately in the past few days, despite the bad moods and the anger at my company. I think it’s a good sign when, despite the blinding anger, you can think back to funny things that have happened and can laugh just as hard as you did when it happened. So, maybe I should tell you what these instances were, no?
The first was on my last night in Chicago. First, a little history lesson. The Chicago Cubs have a curse, in case you didn’t know. As the legend goes (and sorry if you know it), back in like 1919 or something, a man bought tickets to a Cubs game for himself and his billy goat. The Stadium workers wouldn’t let the man bring his goat in, so he cursed the team, saying that they would never win another world series. That year, the Cubs went to the World Series…and lost. They haven’t won a Series since 1908. Anywho, The Boyfriend and I were walking back to our hotel after eating at Ditka’s, and we passed a restaurant named “The Billy Goat.” Looking up at its sign, Mike said, and I quote, “Hey, is that place named after that one monkey?” I about died laughing. To give Mike credit, it was at the end of a long day of sun and booze. But, still. Billy goat, monkey – yeah, they’re the same!
Today is when my other story happened. I went to a lunch with my boss, and a producer we work with. I will call him Prod for this story. We went to an Italian restaurant, and each table had a glass of bread sticks. The three of us were talking, and all of a sudden, Prod says, “Doesn’t it look like the table next to us is eating around a giant wang?” My boss and I looked over, and the table next to us had four women at it…and their bread stick…well, it was shaped funny. If you had said, “How’s it hanging?” to the bread stick, its reply would have been, “to the left.” It looked JUST LIKE A WANG! I started snorting with laughter, while my brain started chanting, “Bang the wang! Bang the wang!” Prod then went onto say, “every time that woman leans in, I freak out. It looks like she’s gonna…you know. Lucky breadstick.” I am a 13-year-old-boy sometimes when it comes to humor, so I was cracking up, which kept Prod laughing. I kept telling myself to pull it together – I was sitting next to my boss, for goodness sake! Just when I would stop laughing, Prod would give the table a sideways glance, and I would lose it again. My boss, it should be noted, was chuckling, but I know he was thinking, “These dumb kids.” (It should be noted that Prod is 32). Just when I thought we were done laughing about it, the women’s dessert arrived…round, white cookies, with a small dot of jelly right in the center. Prod exclaimed, “Dude, they got nipple cookies! They’re a theme table!” I hope you realize how funny this is, people, because I think my boss now thinks Prod and I are seriously demented. We didn’t stop laughing until we got back to my office three blocks away.
Tomorrow I will write more, but I need to wrap some things up here at work. Why so early, you ask? Because I am getting a hair cut today, my friends! I am so excited. My hair is too long, and damaged, and I need a change. Hopefully I will be in tomorrow – I’m going to the dentist in the morning, and based on their history, I can not guarantee that they will not keep me all day. So, I leave you with a parting picture of my “before hair.” Enjoy!