The Spohrs Are Multiplying

After a truly hellacious work week, I promised myself that I was not going to think about work for the entire weekend. I had been crazy with entry forms and submission crap and I really needed a nice, relaxing weekend. I was so, so happy that this past weekend was Tara’s Bachelorette party. We bridesmaids took Tara down for a weekend of relaxing and partying. On Friday, we got to Palm Desert and were so happy to be out of the car and out of traffic that we did a happy dance. Then we thought to ourselves, “hey, let’s go get some grub.” So we went to a Mexican restaurant called Los Consuelos or something like that for dinner. Many margaritas were consumed. Also, some food. By the time we got out of there, it was about 9:30 and we didn’t really feel like going back and changing to go out. I was totally exhausted because I’d been up until 2 am on Thursday and had then woken up at 6 am on Friday to work on my Grammy project for work. So I was all for it when Tara suggested, “Let’s go to the store and get booze and assorted cookie doughs.” So we did. We drank Mud Slides and all that yummy stuff, and we ate oatmeal chocolate chip cookie dough. Is it any wonder that my bridesmaid dress is super-tight? I passed out nice and full. On Saturday morning, I woke up at 7:45, because my body hates me and doesn’t believe in sleeping in. I was awake for a good two hours before everyone else woke up. Not so fun when you are sharing a place with other people. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore, so I jumped on the bed that Tara and Diane were sharing and made them get up. Diane had bought stuff to make chocolate chip pancakes the night before, and I was hungry, damn it! So we set her to work while the rest of us watched TV. Mmm, pancakes. At around 11:00, Tara’s sister Erin showed up. Erin had tried to commit suicide the day before by jamming a q-tip into her eyeball. Actually, she had poked herself in the eye while removing eye make-up, and she had a HIDEOUS blood clot in her eye. So, she didn’t drive down with us the day before because she was at the Dr.’s office. From now on, I will call her EYE. After we all were sufficiently grossed out, we threw on our bathing suits and some sunscreen and went to the pool. It was very hot and humid in the Desert, so we immediately jumped into the pool. It felt so good to be in the pool while it was 108 degrees. I was in heaven. Until I got overheated, then I felt kind of nauseous. It was still a good time, though! Strawberry margaritas and a pool, we were happy! If it hadn’t been for the humidity, I think we could have stayed out in the sun all day; but, we did last 2 and a half hours, which is pretty good. After showering and relaxing for a little while, it was time for the festivities to begin! The party started with Tara= taking a shot of Tequila. Then Eye took a shot to celebrate her 21st birthday. The rest of us laughed and pointed at the faces they made while we sipped our margaritas. The first game was “Pin the Macho on the Man.” Everyone had to put their foreheads on a bat and spin around 10 times while blindfolded. It was a lot harder than it sounds, especially when you factor in alcohol. No one managed to hit the poster the Man was on – Eye didn’t even hit the right wall! The next game was a piñata…let’s just say that Tara made a big impression on a sliding glass door. Thank goodness it was strong glass. Once we’d played all the in-door games, it was time to hit the town! We put on our finest gear, dressed up Tara, and we were off to dinner. We ate at a yummy Italian place at The River. I swear, the men who worked there acted as if they had never seen a group of young women before…which was to our benefit, because we got lots of free stuff, like shots and dessert trays. Yum! When we were sufficiently stuffed, we started our bar crawl. Because Tara was dressed up, we got a lot of attention, and Tara got a LOT of shots. By the time we hit our last stop, Bananaz, Tara had tossed back about 7 or 8 drinks. No one was dancing at the club, so Tara dared Diane to get the party started – and started it was after Diane danced solo on the dance floor for about 2 minutes. As more and more people showed up on the dance floor, more people wanted to dance with Tara and buy her a shot. We eventually made friends with a large bachelor party, and the guys there bought us a million drinks and shots. The one problem with Bananaz is that it’s an indoor/outdoor place, so even though the air conditioning was going full blast, it was still about 85 degrees on the dance floor. We were all dripping with sweat. After hours of dancing, it felt so good to get into the car with nice, cool air conditioning. As we drove back to where we were staying, we tried to figure out how many drinks Tara’d had…we figured something like 14, I believe. As we drove by a Ralph’s, Tara and I decided that we needed food, and we needed it then. So we pulled over and got a couple of frozen pizzas. Back in the room, Tara opened her presents while the pizzas cooked. She got some sexy stuff, woo hoo, George will be very excited. After the presents were opened, things started to go bad for Tara. She showered, and then declared, “I think I need to barf.” The next thing we knew, some unsettling splashing noises were coming from the bathroom and Diane was making unhappy faces, “I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and she just ran in here and did that!!!” Poor Diane. But Tara, she’s a rally-er! When she emerged from the bathroom, she said, “Is the pizza done? I’m hungry?” I can’t imagine why! That’s my girl! Sunday morning brought the beginning of our extreme diet. No breakfast, and only salad for lunch. Yuck. Some of us stopped at the outlets in Cabazon, but we didn’t get anything. After eating and drinking all weekend, none of us were in the mood to try on clothes. We looked, though. Our drive home was fun, if long. None of us can believe it’s the week of the wedding. I really can’t believe that, after thinking about and planning the bachelorette party for so many months, it’s already over. Tara is getting married in five days! Crazy.