I am full of apathy today. I’m surprised I’m even updating this. After being filled with a white hot rage toward my employers yesterday, today I find myself not really giving a crap about anything. Of course, this happens on a day when I am rather busy with job-related tasks. Okay, so here is why I was so pissed off yesterday. On Monday, one of the executive’s assistants sent out an email that said the company is having a big outing at the beginning of next month. It’s going to be on a Thursday, and everyone is going on a boat ride, where they will be treated to all the food, beer, and sodas they can consume. They then get the rest of the day to go to a restaurant where a bar tab will be, or they can go do whatever else they want. Sounds like lots of fun, right? I thought so. The thing is, it’s happening in New York. When I was hired for this job, I was told I would get to go to New York at least two or three times a year, for work and other activities. So far, I have been there once. I didn’t expect to get flown out just for a boat ride, but since the email had been sent to me personally (as opposed to a group list), I started to hope that maybe I was going to go. So, I responded to the email with, “sounds fun.” Then, yesterday, my boss calls me into his office to tell me that he’d talked to the woman planning the event, and that the only people who were going to be going to the event were the people who were already in NYC. Since there are only five people who don’t work in the NYC office, I know it wouldn’t be too big an expense to fly us all out, but I was okay with that. Then my boss dropped the bomb: “oh, but I’m going. Can you book the trip for me?” Oh, gee, CAN I? That would make me ever so happy! Pissed off but trying not to show it, I went back to my office and called my friend in the NYC office to tell him what had happened. “That’s bullshit,” he said, “You know that the head of the sales department won’t stand for his guys not being there, you know they will come out for the party and the meetings.” Damn it! So, here, another example of me being isolated from my company and my co-workers. I know most people would be overjoyed with being the only one in their office most days of the week. And, while it is nice, it is very, very lonely. I miss face-to-face interaction. I have only spent parts of two days with most of my co-workers, and I doubt I would recognize most of them if they were walking down the street. I think that’s sad! I can only talk on the phone and email so much. So, that is why I am mad. Damn it, now I’m all fired up again, but also kind of bummed out. Sigh.
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