Sometimes I like to pretend I’m someone else. Not because I don’t like who I am now, but just to spice things up. My friends and I have been in the practice of giving fake names at bars for several years now. We know to always use our bar identities when skeezy men come up to us. It’s second nature now. Sometimes when these men don’t get the idea, we’ll start making up fake lives, too. I’ve been a nurse, a dancer (HA!), an investment banker, a pro surfer (HA again), all sorts of things. As if my real job isn’t glamorous enough. I don’t know if anyone has ever believed the stories we’ve told, but we enjoyed ourselves. But, besides bar amusement, that was usually the extent of my fake identities. Although lately, in little tiny situations, I’ve started giving a different name. It began as a way for me to gauge what people thought of different names. So I would order my Starbucks and say my name was Jane, or Bunny, or Anika. Or at Jamba Juice I would be Madeline, or Hannah, or Abigail. It just makes me laugh to give these random names and have no one be the wiser. How are they to know? It’s like making myself more anonymous than I already am. I’m weird, I know. It’s my new way of getting through the day. And, can I just say, when you do a Google Image Search for the word “Alias,” you get some frightening results? And not just Jennifer “Duck Face” Garner. That is why there is no picture for this entry. I didn’t want to use a picture of Quack Quack, but I didn’t want to use a picture of a CRIMINAL using aliases for EVIL. So, no image for you! I learned something today. It is SO HARD to talk to someone who is cross-eyed. Especially when you’re pretty sure they are staring at your boobs. A Tech Guy was checking a program that my boss and I have been having a problem with. I told him that I’d fixed my problem, but my boss hadn’t. And when I was talking to him, I noticed that he was cross eyed and we weren’t making eye contact. But his eyes WERE making contact with my chest region. So then he went into my boss’s office to check on it, driving The Boss out to chat with me while Tech Guy worked. When Tech Guy was done, he came back into my office and started talking to me and my boss…except it was more like my boss and my chest. And it was sooooo obvious. When he left, The Boss looked at me and I was TOTALLY blushing, and he started laughing. It’s not like my shirt is crazy tight today or something! Crazy computer freaks!!! And I can say that because I am also a computer freak. But I don’t go staring at people…well, actually, I do have a staring problem, but that is another story for another time.