Can I get a Holy and a Moly? It is sooooo windy here in La La Land. We’re talking hair in a ponytail, cry out for your Auntie Em and grab small animals and children windy. I was walking down the stairs outside my building and I seriously thought I was going to take flight. Which would have rocked. Anyway, last night I was woken up repeatedly by the wind. The first few times it was because my window was open, so my shades were banging into each other. After I closed my window, I started hearing things hitting each other outside, like trash cans and deck chairs and barbecues. I could hear the building groan with every giant gust. Then, this morning, I turned my TV on to get my fix of Katie, Matt, Al, and Ann, only to be greeted with, “searching for satellite signal.” Greeeeeeaaaaaaaaat. Something’s wrong with the damn satellite. I’ve been having nothing but problems with my TV since I got back from Arizona. The tube inside is going out, so when you look at the screen it’s like you have sunglasses on. So that’s annoying, since the TV is less than three years old. So, now we have this satellite problem. I went to the front window to look out at the satellite, because I was a little afraid that the dish had just blown away. Oh, no, it was still there. But the wall it is attached to? Hanging on by TWO NAILS. This is the balcony wall, the divider between our balcony and the one next door. I could just cruise right on over to my neighbor’s balcony if I so desired. The wall has detached itself from the building, and is barely attached to the balcony railing, sort of like a loose tooth that’s clinging to your gums by a thread of flesh. But, HERE’S THE THING: this has happened before! The last time, it was two degrees outside and I was all alone in the apartment. I had to call Christi in a panic to come help me keep the thing from blowing onto the driveway three stories below. Then the landlords thought that TWO NAILS would fix it. Two! I don’t think so! So I called them before I left for work this morning to tell them that a very heavy wall is being held in place by only two nails, and that it is very close to ruining our very expensive satellite dish. AND I may have mentioned that the wall is very likely to break apart, then fall to the ground below, landing on someone’s car. Wouldn’t that suck? But, since my car is here with me at work, I’m not too concerned with that. I’m really just thinking about my neighbor who parks down there. And I’m thinking about the satellite dish. I need my Must See TV! Er, I mean, I need to watch the news so I can stay updated on Shock and Awe.