I‘ve been stalking the vending machine.
You see, I have an obsession with Chex Mix. An addiction, if you will. I just can not get enough of it. I can eat it morning, noon, and night. Once, I bought a GIANT bag of it at CostCo and polished off the entire bag in three days. That’s like FIVE pounds of Chex. After I ate all that Chex, I decided that I wasn’t going to eat Chex Mix anymore. And, for seven months, I didn’t.
Then, last Monday, I was in the kitchen at work. I was getting some water or something, and I looked over at the vending machine, my Spidey Sense a-tingling. There it was, behind six bags of yucky Honey and Salsa Flavored Chex: A bag of Traditional Flavored Chex. As I pressed my face up to the glass, I knew that it had to be mine.
Never mind my vow of Chex Mix Abstinence. In these times of National Crisis, it’s only natural that we turn to our security blankets. Some people turn to booze (which I’m in favor of), some turn to drugs. I turn to Chex, is there something wrong with that? The only thing standing between me and my Bag of Yumminess was about six bags of nasty flavored Chex. I wasn’t about to spend money on those bags to get to my jackpot, so I started making little visits to the kitchen every day to check on the progress of my bag. Every day, my bag got a little bit closer to the front. As of Monday, there was only one gross Honey Chex bag between me and my sweet, sweet Traditional Chex. I stepped up my visits to the kitchen to five a day. But, as of yesterday, the Honey Bag was still there. It mocked me every time I went to the kitchen. I gave up hope that I would ever get my Chex.
Then, today, it happened. I was walking by the kitchen on the way to get my mail. I think it was my Spidey Sense, because I glanced over at the vending machine. My Chex Bag was in the front! It was calling my name, telling me how good it tastes. I stuck my hand in my pocket, but I didn’t have any change. Forgetting about the mail, I ran back to my desk to grab my wallet. What if, as I went to my desk, someone else was drawn to the Chex and it’s salty goodness? It would be so cruel if the Chex had mocked me, after I had kept my eye on it all week! It belonged to me. Luckily, when I got back to the vending machine, it was still there. I threw my change into the slot and watched as my salty prize fell to the bottom. I ripped it open and ate half of it before I even made it back to my desk.
Now, I feel like I’m going to barf. I think my love affair with Chex Mix is over. You can’t go for months without eating it only to scarf a bag down in less than 90 seconds. This is probably for the best, though. We have these GIANT Kit Kat bars in the vending machine that I think are more deserving of my attention. But, I’ll always hold a special place in my heart for Chex Mix.