Comments on: The Fear

By: Amy M.

Amy M. — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 03:08:15 +0000

My Hailey, who is now 4 years old, had some seizures and was really sick for about 3 weeks when she was 5 months old. I thought I was going to lose my mind. I was so afraid of her getting that sick again (Rotovirus). I now have a 4-1/2 month old, Teagan. I still worry but I’m not “as” worried. I can’t explain it…and you will see for yourself once Binky is born. You really do love them both just as much and I think the 2nd time around, things are a little more familiar. A little more “comfortable”. I hope it’s the same for you. We all could use some relaxation after the nervousness of a 1st child!
.-= Amy M.´s last blog ..Today, I feel happy =-.

By: Expat Mom

Expat Mom — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 18:15:12 +0000

You are going to be a great mom to Binky. You won’t cheat her of anything and you know why? Because you are her mom. Just like you did everything for Maddie, you will do what Binky needs. And she will be different, because every child is different.

I haven’t lost a child after pregnancy, but when my son was still tiny and his brother was already on the way, I felt that I had somehow failed him and that he would have a very different life because we brought another little one into the family too soon. But you know what? All these things we worry about affecting our kids, our attitudes, every little decision, they are just a small part of the big picture and the big picture is that they are loved and wanted and cared for. The little things don’t make that big a difference in the long run. My boys are happy and love having a brother so close in age.

You’re going to be great. Just wait and see.
.-= Expat Mom´s last blog ..No Rest for the Wicked =-.

By: Mags

Mags — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 22:47:54 +0000

You are already a great Mom…to Maddie and to Binkie. I understand your fears…however, once you hold Binkie in your arms and know that she is okay, your overwhelming love will take hold and keep the strength of your fears at bay.
.-= Mags´s last blog ..Place mats… =-.

By: Colleen

Colleen — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 19:45:41 +0000

This little girl will be born… and you will hold her in your arms… and you will be the best mommy you can be. You are already being such a great Mommy to her!

By: Laurie

Laurie — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 19:19:49 +0000

I have not been through anything that comes close to what you’ve been through and I felt the same type of anxiety throughout both of my pregnancies. In fact, my children are 18 and 21 and there are still times when I worry that I’m not the mom they deserve. Although your feelings are exacerbated x a gazillion because of the horror you’ve experienced — when a mom’s heart fills with child-love I believe it’s normal to feel all the insecurities that come with all the amazing-ness.

I have every confidence that you will be a better than great mom, Heather. Trust in all that you are.

By: hawkfeather

hawkfeather — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 05:17:21 +0000

Hi there- I don’t post often on your blog but I read it now and then-

I read something on your husband’s blog a while back- a sentiment his peer’s have shared as comforting sage advice-
“that you love all your children the same…”
I am over simplifying- but I do believe that is the general idea-

I wanted to post to him than- but second guessed my thoughts-

seeing your post- i guess the same thoughts come to my mind again-

I have five kids- and while I have never and I hope i never do experience the loss you have- I know I was afraid when i had my second child and this was what i was told than- you love all your kids the same.

well- for the record- five kids later- I don’t love all my kids the same in the least.

I do not love my mother like I love my father- I do not love my best friend like I love my husband- but i wouldn’t compare the love either-

My children- and yours- are unique human beings- they bring unique things into our world- they are individuals on every level.

I love each of my children for who they are and I bet you will find the same-

The similarity of being another child born of you and your partner is a special connection without doubt- but no matter how much two siblings look alike and maybe even act alike- they bring out different reactions from us- and i think they should.

I have never questioned that Madeline was afforded all the love in the universe parents can provide- and I do not question your baby will either-

but i do think people too often lump siblings together to be one sort of entity “The Kids”….

but i don’t think you can loose anything here- because you can never have too many people too love or to love you in return.
one love never takes away from another.

By: Anne

Anne — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 00:25:35 +0000

Believe it from someone who has been there and so recently that it blows my mind… you’ll trip out big time, for a long time, but you *won’t* fail and you *will* eventually get to a point where you aren’t paranoid about everything little health thing that happens with Binky. Trust and hope, Heather. You will do just fine eventhough you might second guess every move you make… I promise. <3

By: Christine

Christine — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 23:55:21 +0000

Just let go, everything will fall in place with this baby, she will be a 2nd daughter and a little sister, the only difference, while Maddie may not be here physically, Binky will always feel the tremendous amount of love from both you, Mike, and Maddie.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 20:35:05 +0000

You won’t fail. You will be an amazing mom to Binky just as you are an amazing mom to Maddie.

Love and hugs.
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Birth Control =-.

By: Danielle

Danielle — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 16:01:47 +0000

I, as you, don’t know how you will be, but I bet that once you hold her for the first time, you will be exactly the mommy you are supposed to be for Binky.