Comments on: Spirals

By: Susan (5 Minutes for Mom)

Susan (5 Minutes for Mom) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 20:22:18 +0000

Oh my gosh, I’m soooooo out of the loop… I didn’t even realize you are expecting.

(I’m so sorry that I’m way behind on blog reading and I haven’t kept up to date.)

How wonderful though… congratulations!!!

As for the control thing… I have a terrible time dealing with the lack of control. I’m a worrier and so I worry about everything.

I can only imagine how it must all feel for you now… confidence and control is something we all struggle with… and your struggle with it must be multiplied.

HUGS!!!!
.-= Susan (5 Minutes for Mom)´s last blog ..Angry, Yoda is =-.

By: red pen mama

red pen mama — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 19:32:37 +0000

Oh, my, yes. This.

Parenting really slaps us control freaks upside the head. Maybe not as painfully some days as others.

Remember the movie Parenthood? (Am I dating myself?) As much as I am the Steve Martin character in that movie, I try to remind myself to be more like Mary Steenbergun’s character — ride the roller coaster and enjoy it.

But when life hurts you, I think it’s even harder.

ciao,
rpm
.-= red pen mama´s last blog ..Snippet: Sweet =-.

By: Allison

Allison — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 00:22:31 +0000

I can’t even imagine what you have been through. I’m praying for you guys and am so excited about your new little one on the way.

By: Jane

Jane — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 16:55:19 +0000

Heather, I’m glad Binky is doing GREAT! : )
I feel sad for what you are going through, and so wish I had magic words. I wonder whether it does help you even one tiny bit to know that so many people are praying for and pulling for you guys…I hate to admit it, but I don’t know whether that would make a difference to me if I had lost a child. I really hope that the thoughts and prayers are of some true comfort to you. My grandma used to tell me that the decision to have children is the decision to let your heart — the very essence of your own self — walk around separate from you. We really do have a complete lack of control and that is so scary. Heather, I really do appreciate you sharing your thoughts, wise words, insight and fears. You help me to be better to my kids every single day. I read your blog and can’t help but reflect, even for just a moment, on my kids. Your writing makes a concrete difference in my life and in how I treat my kids, and I am so grateful. Even if it’s only doing a puzzle for 10 minutes, or stopping to listen to them playing together, it’s something I didn’t TRULY appreciate before. Praying for you guys and especially for your peace.

By: Allyson

Allyson — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 06:55:54 +0000

Another control freak mom here and I can’t say that I am exactly surprised that we all seem to find each other. We controllers need to lean on each other, because we know what the other is feeling.

Although in this case, I don’t. What I do know is that I am constantly in awe of your confidence to wake up everyday, your confidence to write about your experience, your confidence to keep Maddie fresh in our hearts, minds and prayers, your confidence to walk at the MOD walk on her behalf so soon after losing her, your confidence to go to Washington DC with the March of Dimes and express the importance of helping these babies, and your confidence to try again. It may not seem like it right now, but you are coping with the unimaginable and we all are confident in you and hopefully enough for you until your baby girl arrives.

Your post took me aback, because what I see on my screen is confidence in spite of the world.

By: Molly

Molly — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 19:41:56 +0000

I am so sorry you’re feeling this way. You’ll get your confidence back. Once Binky is here, one small decision at a time, you’ll learn to trust your gut again.

By: Ania

Ania — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 19:24:40 +0000

I’m not surprised you had a good feeling about Maddie that day, as she was such a fighter, and had overcome so much already. She beat the odds numerous times, so why wouldn’t you have a good feeling that she’d pull through yet again? I sure as hell would have been hopeful, too!

I am 100% confident that you have to be one of the of the best moms out there. Maddie and Binky are so lucky that they are loved by YOU.

By: Vanessa Pollard

Vanessa Pollard — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 18:18:54 +0000

Hi. I just recently started reading your blog after being directed to it by a close friend and I love to read about your perfect little Maddie.

I am so happy I am not the only one struggling through the questions of “gut feelings” being the correct feelings. Due to an incompetent cervix I lost my son, Adam in December of 2007 and after two failed stitches to keep my twin girls safe I lost Cayla and Marley in September of 2008. I am currently 30 1/2 weeks pregnant and doing fantastic with a beautiful little girl and everyday I wonder if my “gut instinct” is correct about anything. We wonder constantly what feelings are correct, what impressions we should trust and the only conclusions we have come to is just to ride it out. No matter what we have to its the only option.

I love your writing and feel privileged to be able to read your blog.

Keep up the good work and give Binky a belly pat from us.

By: Marti from Michigan

Marti from Michigan — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 15:26:58 +0000

Heather – you are the best wife, best sister, best mom, best daughter, best aunt, best cousin anywhere.

By: Al_Pal

Al_Pal — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 09:25:53 +0000

*HUGS*
So glad Binky is doing well.

Sorry that your confidence is so badly shaken.

A friend of mine has an autistic son. I remember she told me that his autism made her realize that she didn’t really have control. I think she was able to turn it into a more Zen, go with the flow, type of attitude, but: it can’t be easy. At all.

Wishing you the best in bringing your confidence and [some] control back into your life.