Influences
When I was pregnant with Madeline, I spent a lot of time looking through old photos of Mike and me. I’d take the images of our little faces and try to imagine what the little baby inside of me would look like.
The 50% Portuguese, 25% Irish, & 25% German Mike
plus the (not sure of the percentages) Irish, Scottish, & German me
made this 25% Portuguese but mostly Irish-looking little girl:
I will spend the rest of my life wondering what she would have looked like through the years.
Now, looking through these pictures again, I wonder about the new little baby inside of me. Will she look like her sister or totally different? It’s hard not to hope she’ll look Maddie, but I’m not too worried. I know she’ll look exactly like Binky, our second daughter and the other love of our life.
Noelle says:
She will be gorgeous. Just like her sister.
Noelle´s last blog ..Lisa
Cinthia Reply:
October 23rd, 2009 at 2:11 am
Totally agree.
Bec Reply:
October 23rd, 2009 at 2:47 am
Absolutely
Bec´s last blog ..I was gone
Kelly Reply:
October 23rd, 2009 at 3:34 pm
Well said =)
Kelly´s last blog ..Sleeping at Wirra Wirra
Lesley O says:
No doubt she will be beautiful with a beautiful heart to match the rest of her lovely family.
kathy butler says:
I hope she has a crooked little smile like Maddie’s…it’s unforgettable.
Krissa says:
“I will spend the rest of my life wondering what she would have looked like through the years.” – I know I’m not the only one whose heart broke to pieces reading that sentence. … You and Mike were adorable kids! Look at his little haircut. That is so cute! And you were and are so beautiful. Just like Maddie. And just like Binky will be when she comes out.
PrincessJenn says:
She’ll be gorgeous like her mommy of course. Is there any question?
(hugs)
PrincessJenn´s last blog ..Drama Sucks So I’m Giving Away Stuff
Al_Pal says:
Can’t help but wonder. I’m sure Binky will be an absolute joy & darling.
*HUGS*
catherine lucas says:
She will be beautiful, no matter what. She will be your second baby and you will like her looks like only moms do. And in the bigger scheme of things: there are no ugly babies… I do like the rim of sunlight on your kiddie photograph. Mike looks as if he was born old… grin
catherine lucas´s last blog ..The Cotswolds Chronicles Part 1
amanda says:
This is perfect, and Binky will look exactly like she should.
xo from CT,
Amanda
amanda´s last blog ..ode to jimmy, on the eve of his birthday
Lynn from For Love or Funny says:
Folks always say that my girls look exactly alike, but to me they look so different. Can’t wait to meet your 2nd beautiful girl!
Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..Carpet gives you car trouble
charlane says:
SHe will be beautiful like her big sister.
charlane´s last blog ..My favorite
J. says:
My two boys look completely different, though both have my long lashes.
I don’t think I look like any of my 4 sisters, though people always seem to know that we are sisters!
I am sure that you will see at least a little Maddie in Binky! Two little beauties, I suspect…
J.´s last blog ..Don’t Let the Bugs Bite!
Kristen McD says:
My daughter and son have similar features… A couple of my favourite things about him have appeared in her face too, which is fantastic. But mostly she looks exactly like her beautiful self.
I’m sure Binky will be just the same.
Anna Marie Hinnant says:
You and Mike were the cutest kids! And Binky will be gorgeous, obviously. =)
Jen says:
My sister and I look completely different- she like our Dad and me like our Mom.
Doesn’t matter a hill of beans; she’s still my “sisser”.
Binky will be gorgeous and Maddie will look down from heaven and smile and wink at her baby “sisser”, I just know it!
Jen´s last blog ..Seven Quick Takes
dysfunctional mom says:
Gorgeous + gorgeous = Gorgeous! So, there you have it.
Elise says:
She will be beautiful, inside and out – how could she not be with such wonderful parents (and a beautiful big sister watching over her already).
The pictures of you and Mike are adorable, and of course Maddie’s photo is precious as always.
Meg...CT says:
She will be beautiful just like your sweet Maddie…soon you will know the joy of holding your heart in your hand again…Hang in there.
Peace.
Momo Fali says:
Well, Mike was adorable, you were adorable and Maddie was adorable, so I’m pretty sure this is going to be one cute kid.
Momo Fali´s last blog ..Things I Said Yesterday
Neena says:
She’ll be perfectly Binky. Besides, I have a feeling Maddie hand-picked her just for you!
Neena´s last blog ..growing
Heather Reply:
October 23rd, 2009 at 8:23 am
This is exactly what I was thinking too!
Heather´s last blog ..Special Needs Marriage…
Alexandra :) says:
Three ADORABLE pictures!!!
Casey says:
I can’t wait to see what Binky looks like, either. And I always love seeing pictures of beautiful Maddie. She grabs my heart.
I hope you are feeing well.
Much love,
Casey
Casey´s last blog ..Split level housing
Karen says:
And isn’t that a wonderful thing
Karen´s last blog ..Chester House
Laurie says:
When I was pregnant, I had a dream when my baby was born, I thought she was ugly, and it spurred this crazy guilt and anxiety that I wouldn’t love her as much as I should. (She’s beautiful, just for the record.
I can’t wait to meet Binky! Whether she looks like Maddie or not, I can’t imagine she won’t have a very similar amazing spark!
Jen in Maryland says:
Binky will be gorgeous, just like her big sister!!
Ms. Moon says:
You are perfectly right. When our grandson was born I could not look at him and say, “This is your mother, this is your father.” All I could say was, “This is you.”
Ms. Moon´s last blog ..A Celebration Weekend
Christine says:
Oh Maddie, such a gorgeous baby, made all the more adorable with her mischevious grin. Love.
How could the Bink not be gorgeous? Different maybe, but completely gorgeous. I mean look at you guys.
Kate@UpsideBackwards says:
Funny how those Irish percentages add up, hmm? I think I’m about 150% Irish when you put it all together
at least to hear my grandparents tell it (and none of them were born there…!)
What a beautiful family you are. I’m sure Binky will fit right in. At times she will look just like you, other times just like Mike, sometimes the exact image of Maddie, and all the time just like herself.
Kate@UpsideBackwards´s last blog ..Not as exciting as we’d hoped
Tammy says:
I adore all the pictures of Maddie. I can’t wait for the side by sides of her and Binky. I just wish they could be side by side in the same photo.
Whatever the percentages and lineage, you two make a gorgeous baby!
Kelly says:
My daughter was born with a ton of dark hair like her Dad, so when I was having my son I just assumed he would look the same. I was shocked when he came out with blonde hair just like me. As teenagers they still look different, but there is no mistaken that spirit that they share, mine and my hubbys spirit combined. There is just a spirit that a family shares. Whether Binky looks like Maddie or not, you will always see that beautiful spirit in Binky that you saw in your beautiful Maddie. You and Mike will feel it instantly and it will feel like a hug from above.
Liz says:
Maddie is so beautiful and as I watched her grow via your blog and Flickr, I thought to myself “I hope Heather continues to blog and post pictures because I can’t wait to see what this lovely girl will look like as she gets older.” It’s so heartbreaking.
I know that Binky will be beautiful – inside and out – like her big sister.
Jenn says:
You’re right Mama….she’s going to look like herself although I suspect she will have a little Maddie sprinkled in there and I also bet she has some of the same qualities as Maddie had since she is being raised by the same parents in a similar way.
Either way though I know 3 things to be 100% true…..
1) She WILL be extremely BEAUTIFUL.
2) She WILL be extremely BEAUTIFUL on the inside just as she will be on the outside.
and last but NOT least….
No matter what she looks like or acts like, she will be 100% BLESSED because she is loved and cherished by some of the best parents in the WORLD!!! What a lucky little girl she is!
cj says:
that was a beautiful post about your beautiful daughters. thank you.
Jenn says:
Little Maddie looked like such a happy child. Definitely a tribute to her awesome parents. For some reason, I think when Binky makes her appearance you will see how unhealthy Maddie was due to her prematurity.
But I do know Binky will have some of Maddie’s features and be a cutie patootie…
Shannon Kieta says:
When I had my daughter, she has blondish hair, and aqua eyes. My son has brown hair, brown eyes. They look nothing alike. Maybe that will change, but she is 14 months and she hasn’t yet. I thought they would look alike, but NO, they are complete opposite’s. I can’t wait to see her either! But stay put Bink!!! Auntie Shannon
Lisa says:
Maddie was simply beautiful and Binky will be beautiful too.
Love and hugs.
Lisa´s last blog ..Staying Safe on Halloween
AmazingGreis says:
Whomever she looks like, I’m sure she’ll be beautiful.
Love the picture of you, your hair was so blonde. Too cute!
AmazingGreis´s last blog ..Blogger Football League – Week 6
Maria says:
Mike and I have very similar heritages. (Can you pluralize that?) My Portuguese family is from California. (You know, after Portugal.)
I remember putting pictures of George and I next to each other like that too.
I love how stark and honest you are. I can’t wait to meet Binky.
Maria´s last blog ..Girl Talk Thursday – vices
Angela says:
I can’t help but feel a twinge of pain when seeing the pictures of you and Mike at such young, innocent ages, not knowing that one day you would have to go through all that you have made it through.
But I also feel happy to know that these two lovely, happy children found such an amazing love between the two of them, and that their lives were touched in such a special way by a little smiley baby named Maddie and by another (I’m sure she’ll be just as smiley) baby affectionately named Binky.
Love and prayers sent your way every single day!!
Angela´s last blog ..Pride is a Cheater
Lindsay from Florida Reply:
October 23rd, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Angela, I couldn’t possibly have written this any better. You captured exactly what I was feeling looking at these pictures.
Maddie and Binky are going to be such beautiful, radiant sisters. There is no doubt.
Andrea says:
Beautiful pics!! Thanks for sharing. Binky will be beautiful just like her sister. I can’t wait to see what she looks like!!
Have a wonderful weekend!
Andrea
Andrea´s last blog ..Blond no more!!
ali (adil320) says:
I think she will be gorgeous, just like you.
I think she will gloriously loved, just like Maddie.
I think she will be amazing, because she is her.
xoxoxo
ali
ali (adil320)´s last blog ..Bring It Home!
Nellie - New York says:
Baby Binky will be as precious and beautiful as her parents but will possess an infinite amount of gorgeousness, courage, love and humor as that of her big sister Maddie!
Josie says:
Such a fun and exciting thing to think about!
Josie´s last blog ..Need some new recipes?
Courtney says:
She will be absolutely stunning like her sister! God Bless.
Courtney´s last blog ..Houston We Have Reached a Decision!
robin says:
What a beautiful family you all are…inside and out. Have a nice and relaxing weekend. Love you guys.
robin´s last blog ..the HOT, "Are we done yet?" Festival
tara says:
she will be gorgeous. just like her big sis. many hugs to you. xo
Jen L. Reply:
October 23rd, 2009 at 8:48 am
I second that!!
Jen L.´s last blog ..One order of auditions, well-done
maya says:
love you.
Diane says:
Well, I cannot wait to meet your new little lady! She will be gorgeous.
amy d says:
I just never get tired of looking at pictures of your beautiful Maddie.
Binky will be gorgeous, just like her big sis.
BTW, your hair was so blonde as a child. That’s a beautiful pic of you;)
Alison says:
Beautiful Maddie! Binky will be just as gorgeous as her big sister, in her own Binky way.
xoxo
Alison´s last blog ..Numbers
Chantel says:
I have a huge grin on my face looking at Mike’s picture. I don’t know why.
Binky will be just as gorgeous as Maddie. There’s no other option! Just look at the parents. 
xoxo
Chantel´s last blog ..Overwhelmed
Marti from Michigan says:
Binky will have a little of all of you in her. Most of all, she’s been “sister kissed” by her older sister Maddie. I believe that God and Maddie picked Binky out for both of you and placed her gently in her nest in your womb.
A few years ago there was a very tiny book that came out in the “Christian” bookstores, called “The prayer of Jabez.” I pray it often. I will pray it for the Spohr family here:
“Dear God Bless The Spohr family indeed! Enlarge their borders, give them more! Put Your Hand upon them and keep them from all harm, so they will not have pain.” And……..God granted the request!
kari says:
My first daughter, who was stillborn at term, had a ton of white blonde hair. When I was pregnant with her little sister, I had a dream about a beautiful brown-haired baby. And her sister was born with brown hair. It’s now turned blonde and curly and I always imagine this is what her big sister would look like, too. I hate that I’ll never know. But you do know whatever the combination of genes Binky gets, she’ll be gorgeous.
San says:
I love your blog.I’m so very sorry for your loss. Your posts about your sweet Maddie have change the way I look at my time with my own daughter. In a way, you have change my life. I have cried with you many times and have prayed for you and your family. Thank you for bringing the world along on your painful and beautiful journeys through life. You are an inspiration. In other news, I just wanted to share that your husband has the same exact ethic breakdown as my own daughter. 50% Portuguese, 25% Irish and 25% German. It is a great combination if I say so myself. Just an interesting coincidence that I wanted to share. God bless you both. Take care.
mommymae says:
no matter who she looks like, she’ll be beautiful.
mommymae´s last blog ..costumes
Michelle Pixie says:
She already is beautiful…Just look at the picture perfect profile in those ultrasound pix!
Michelle Pixie´s last blog ..Dear Universe
Amy in Oregon says:
I can’t wait to meet her….
Devon says:
I am suprised at how different my two girls look from each other, then I will look at pictures of them and think that they look alot alike. They are very different but very much the same. I’m sure binky will have some Maddie features and expressions. I’m sure she’ll have her very own too.
Devon Reply:
October 23rd, 2009 at 11:52 am
BTW, I just can’t get over how Beautiful Madeline is. I’m sure Binky will just as beautiful in her own special little Binky way. Any names picked out yet?
Molly says:
What cute kiddos! I bet Binky will be just like Maddie and so different from her in a 1000 different ways. It will be so much fun to read all about her as she grows up!
Rebecca says:
All I know is that you made Maddie so beautiful. She would have grown up to be the next big name model, everyone around the world would have known her name for her modeling abilities.
Now the world knows her name because of her legacy.
Today is my birthday! Go me!
FireMom says:
We wondered if LittleBrother would look like BigBrother. He doesn’t and he does. He does and he doesn’t. He looks like himself which is totally and wonderfully perfect. Just as his older brother. Just like their older sister.
Sending our best.
Pam says:
aww. such a sweet post. Binky LOVED hearing mamma write those words. So sweet.
Brittany says:
Binky is going to be stunning, because she is filled with so much beauty from her parents and sister. How could she be anything but?
Brittany´s last blog ..H1N1: A love story.
Stephanie says:
I just came across your blog for the first time and read and read and read for the past 3 hours. Your story is heartbreak yet strong. Your strength is amazing and I wish you a healthy pregnancy and a beautiful baby Binky.
Stephanie´s last blog ..Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins
Kelly says:
My god, you two were complete SPUNKS as kids! Still are =) Binky is bound to be awesomely cute!
It never really occurred to me to compare photos of my hubby and myself to try and figure what our little girl would look like. He’s Chinese, and I’m a mix of Austrian, French, a few other bits and pieces and a whole lot of Irish! I just figured she wouldn’t look a thing like either of us (she’s a perfect little hybrid, and looks just like herself)
Kelly´s last blog ..Sleeping at Wirra Wirra
Amy says:
Heather, you were such a beauty! Your wisdom and depth showed even at such a young age. Binky will be amazing no doubt with you guys as her parents!
Robin says:
Those percentages created the most beautiful mixture in Maddie. Her features and coloring were breathtaking! I have a feeling even if the blend is different your gonna have another unique beauty in your family.
Donna says:
I can’t wait to see her, you know she will pretty as a doll…
eliza says:
Maddie is the smilingest (I know that’s not a word, but it’s the only one that works) kid that I’ve ever seen. So adorable. I can’t ever get a smile for the camera from my kids. I’ve really never seen so many smiley pictures. She just ate life up didn’t she?
Can’t wait to see Binky. Well I can wait. A good many weeks.
Mishelle Lane says:
Maddie is beautiful b/c of who is and who her parents are. Binky will be beautiful b/c of who she is, who her parents are, and who her sister is.
Mishelle Lane´s last blog ..Spelling Test
Christine says:
She’ll be a Spohr and have that Spohr spirit!
How blessed she is to have you and how blessed you are she chose you.
I have 3 kids and not one of them looks like another – a redhead, a brunette and a light blonde. I love the “variety” we have! Definately a gene pool.
AMomTwoBoys says:
I really hope she looks a little bit like me, too.
AMomTwoBoys´s last blog ..The YUCK
Debby says:
Love the pictures of you and Mike. There will never be a more expressive face! I will say it again, Maddies face is a ray of sunshine. Her smile can brighten all the days for the rest of time. I hate that you have to live without her.
I wish I could have know her. I love all the videos and photos you have shared with me.
Debby´s last blog ..A FEW FRIDAY FUNNIES
Shauna says:
She will be beautiful. Just like her mother.
Shauna´s last blog ..I can’t help it if my vagina heals faster than most mortals
Tami says:
I follow another blog about a family who lost their baby as well. When I read her post on 10/15, she mentioned that it was the “National Day of Miscarriage and Infant Loss”. I thought of you, and thought you might appreciate and perhaps relate to some of the expressions of loss written in the comments: http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/2009/10/october-15th-2009.html#disqus_thread
((hugs))
Chrissie says:
She will be gorgeous, just like her big sister! When you look at her she will make you smile, and give you hope.
(((HUGS)))
Dawn says:
I have two boys. One looks just like me and the other just like their dad. But when you put them side by side there is NO doubt that they are brothers.
Funny how nature allows there to be differences for them to be their own person, but similiarities for them to be family.
LOVE you & Mike’s kid photos!
Dawn´s last blog ..Just like that
Kathleen says:
Hi Heather –
I found your site through a truly circuitous route, but Maddie’s story has truly moved me. I have two daughters also (15 and 12), both healthy (but I worry about the eldest driving…), and I wish I could help in some way. I know I can’t, but I am pulling for you, Mike, and your new baby as hard as I can.
I lost both of my parents and an uncle in a four-year time frame; I know that losing a parent does not compare with losing a child, but I went through very much the same type of emotional detachment following my father’s death, and I felt panicky when I realized that his absence was becoming my new reality. I’m sure I’m saying this badly, but I am in awe of the way that you are coping and your story is something for which I have no words.
Thanks for keeping your blog public.
Sarcastica says:
Glad to hear everything is going well with your pregnancy and Binky! I remember looking at photos of Matt and I when we were young and also wondering what Nolan would look like.
Stay strong, beautiful Mama – you’re doing an amazing job!
Sarcastica´s last blog ..Patterns
rachel cortest says:
I still look at her face and wish that none of this were true. I could not understand all the uproar when it turned out that April Rose was made up. I was so relieved that another child was not going to die. i guess your perspective changes once the unimaginable happens to one of your children.
But it is true and it is beyond me to understand why beautiful Maddie died. It is so so so so tragic. I hug her in my heart. Rachel
Manda says:
Everyone says my boys look exactly alike – but my 4 year old has his dads rich brown eyes and my 1 year old has my green/hazel eyes. It is amazing to see those little differences.
My heart aches for Maddie every single day Heather. I feel like I know your family, and am blessed you share it with us.
Thank you,
Hugs from Minnesota
Sarah says:
and she will be a sweet and beautiful thing. ready to love and be loved. and you will not ever forget any of it. of this. of her. of love.
a big hug of love for you and mike and binky. i only know your names. and your story. but love and hugs is what we all deserve. and sometimes there are a few of us that deserve it just a little bit more.
Ray says:
It’s so sweet seeing photos of you two when you were little, alongside a photo of the beautiful, famous, Madeline. <3 I can't wait to see photos of Binky when she makes her arrival.
Ray says:
P.S. I also think it’s awesome how in both photos you and Maddie are squinting. She had YOUR eyes. <3 I'm fairly new to this blog, so I didn't notice that before.