Dirge Without Music

I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned
With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.

Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase remains, — but the best is lost.

The answers quick & keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love,
They are gone. They have gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled
Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.

Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.

-Edna St. Vincent Millay

I have been reading your blog for a while and haven’t commented because I don’t know what to say. I come because I didn’t know Maddie during her short life, but I enjoy getting to know her through your memories of the small things. The things that seemed too inconsequential to blog about before and I smile about those small things. The things that make me remember that it is about the small things, that the small things matter and I need to soak them all in. Thank you so much for sharing.

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Hugs, Leita

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Please know that I have the same thoughts of you. I wish this was a bad nightmare and you woke up with Maddie in your arms. I wish Maddie was still crawling around your house and sleeping on your shoulder. I wish all of this as well. I wish you never knew the pain of losing a daughter. I do not know if you will never feel the hurt. I know you are feeling it NOW. I want to say someday it will be better, but how can I say that without knowing? And I want answers too. Why? Why did she have to go??? The best possible place for her is in her parents arms. But clearly, she really is in a beautiful place and the answers are for now, unknown.

I’m praying for you. Praying for some peace. For something to make things look brighter one day. I don’t know how they will, but I have faith in God and Maddie. They will see you through.

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