Madeline
On the morning of November 11, 2007 you were still in my belly. I was in the hospital, doing everything I could to make sure you were healthy. But, things weren’t going well that day. I had a lot of stomach pain. My perinatologist felt my abdomen and when I groaned, he said labor was close. Then my OB came in and gave me a sterile speculum exam, one of the most painful exams I’ve ever had. She said I wasn’t dilated and I should relax.
Then I started bleeding. My OB was called again. The blood came out in gobs. I wasn’t scared, because the doctors had told me to relax. I was alone in the hospital room, talking to Jackie! on the phone, when my nurse came in and said I was going to have a C-Section and you’d be here ASAP. I called Daddy and told him to come back to the hospital right away.
When I was wheeled into the operating room, everyone who already loved you was waiting with baited breath for you to arrive. The neonatologists came in and told me and your daddy not to worry if you didn’t cry, because your lungs had been through such a hard time. As I laid there on the operating table, I said a prayer to my grandmas and great grandma, asking them to give you air in your lungs.
When you were born at 4:22 pm, you cried, and your daddy and I cried, too.
I wanted them to put you on my chest, but you were very small and sick. Daddy and the nurses took you to the NICU, but before they left they told me to give you a kiss. Because of the way they held you, I only managed to kiss your little hat. I didn’t get to give you a kiss on your soft skin for two weeks.
While the doctors worked on us, your daddy took pictures so I could see you. He came back to where I was recovering and said how beautiful you were. Your daddy and I were so happy. Then your doctors came back and told us how sick you were, so sick that you needed to go to another hospital. And even though I’d known for months that you were likely to be sick, I still cried. I cried as hard as my sewn up body would let me, and I cursed it for letting you down.
The nurses said I could wait in the hallway outside of the NICU, so when the transfer team wheeled you by I could get a glimpse of you. They said you’d be out in 15 minutes. It took two hours for the transfer team to get you stable enough to be moved. The nurses offered to take me back to my room, but I waited for you in that hallway. When they wheeled you by, I told you to be strong, and that I loved you. I didn’t know if I’d see you alive again.
Since that day, your strength and bravery have amazed me. You made me a mommy, and it’s been such an honor to be YOUR mommy. You’ve been through so much but you are so happy, it blows me away. You have a smile for everyone – you bring out the best in people.
On November 11th, I stopped loving the idea of you and started loving you. Happy birthday, my beautiful, smart, happy little girl. You’re my dream come true.
November 11, 2007 - 3 lbs, 1 oz, 15 3/4 inches
November 11, 2008 - 13 lbs, 14oz, 26 1/2 inches, giant head
Tara says:
Totally just made me cry. I love you, Maddie and Heather!
Stacie says:
Happy Birthday, little Maddie! And a great big happy Birth Day to you too, Heather. May you have many, many, many more birthdays to celebrate together, and may each year be better than the last!
Stacies last blog post..Perfect Moment Monday
Rachel says:
Happy birthday Maddie! You are adorable.
Rachels last blog post..Nevermind
Shannon says:
I normally lurk here. But I just have to say. What a beautiful letter to your beautiful daughter.
Linda/Grandma says:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NUMBER 1 to the cutest, sweetest, most loved baby on Earth! Kisses and Hugs! Grandma and Grandpa
Alison says:
One year of blowing the world away with her strength and cuteness! Happy birthday! You are a great mom for that little bundle of joy. Though maybe not so little… Almost 14 pounds!!
Alisons last blog post..There Are No Words
Kristin says:
Oh Happy Birthday Maddie! And cheers to you Heather and to Mike. What a gorgeous little one you have.
Kristins last blog post..And a partridge in a pear tree
Anna says:
Happy Birthday Maddie! You guys are amazing.
I’m glad we all don’t gain 4 1/2 times our weight every year.
Annas last blog post..Cabbage
Megan says:
Happy First Birthday Madeline! I always enjoy stories (and pictures) from the Maddie file:)
Megans last blog post..Don’t judge me or my fake cheese.
Laurie says:
Happy Happy day to you all!
Lauries last blog post..2008 Olympics
Brianne says:
I’ve been waiting for the birthday post all morning. I just knew it would come. I’ll remember that day forever and just want you to know that I am thinking about all 3 of you today. Happy First (with many, many more to come) Birthday, Maddie – my favorite baby girl in the whole world!
Ms. Moon says:
Oh, Heather. Birth-day anniversaries are so special and this one is especially precious because of the circumstances of Maddie’s birth.
That girl has angels swirling around her head all the time and their smiles are exactly like the one on your daughter’s face.
And she is your angel.
Ms. Moons last blog post..Ask Ms. Moon
moosh in indy. says:
I’m going in the other room to SHOW YOU MY TEARS.
moosh in indy.s last blog post..Out of Season/Place
AMomTwoBoys says:
AWWWW….so sweet.
I adore her giant head and I can’t wait to see it again!
Happy Birthday Maddie! We love you!
AMomTwoBoyss last blog post..It’s a Brand New Day!
Aunt Becky says:
*sobs*
Happy First Birthday, Miss Maddy. Your future husband (and partner in macrocephalic glory) Alex, wishes you all the best. He also tells me that cake is totally overrated.
Aunt Beckys last blog post..Carry On My Wayward Son
rockzee says:
What an incredible journey. She is truly a blessing.
Happy Birthday Maddie!
Elaine says:
You have a beautiful daughter. I hope she has a wonderful 1st Birthday!
Heather at Domestic Extraordinaire says:
Wow! HAPPY Birthday Maddie! Many Hugs from Ohio!!
Heather at Domestic Extraordinaires last blog post..Can I be a Winner Twice in One Week?
Cara says:
Oh Heather, that was so beautiful. Maddie is such an amazing girl and you and Mike are clearly wonderful parents. Happy Birthday to that darling child of yours!
Caras last blog post..The End Of An Affair
Mags says:
This post made me cry. You and Mike are certainly blessed with one very special girl.
Magss last blog post..Sunday,,,A Day of Rest!
Jamie says:
So sweet -
Happy Birthday, Maddie!
Jamies last blog post..Brotherly Love
Backpacking Dad says:
Happy Birthday.
Backpacking Dads last blog post..Hugs and Cuddles and Things That Make You Feel Sick
maya says:
Happy Birthday my sweet little maddie!!! Love you!
Danes says:
My Lil Moozer. Happy Birthday, Precious. That was so sweet, Heather – very poignant, and Maddie is lucky to have parents like you and Mike. I hope you had a fabulous day with your lil miracle. xoxo
Kate says:
Happy First Birthday Madeline Alice! You are a beautiful girl and your smile lights up the world.
Kates last blog post..Blogging and Me
Susan says:
Happy Birthday, sweet Madeline.
Susans last blog post..Honoring all who served and who now serve
misfithausfrau says:
Wow. Happy Birthday, Madeline.
misfithausfraus last blog post..And So It Begins
Kim says:
Teary. I love your blog Heather! Look at this sweet girl and how far she has come. Look at her beautiful and brave momma! Love you…Happy Birthday Sweet Girl.
Kims last blog post..Happy Day…and a Freebie!
Susanna says:
Happy Birthday Maddie! What a beautiful last paragraph you wrote.
Stacey says:
I have been lurking for a long time now and just had to come out of hiding to say Happy Birthday to your family! What an amazing year you have had!
Staceys last blog post..Ticket Master
patois says:
That was beautiful. She is beautiful. Happy birthday to the both of you. To all of you.
patoiss last blog post..Even the Dog Likes Her Better!
Mary Beth says:
Happy Birthday Maddie!
Mary Beths last blog post..HOW MANY BOOKS CAN YOU READ IN ONE YEAR?
Headless Mom says:
Happy Late Birthday, Sweet Maddie! You are a fighter-never forget that!
Headless Moms last blog post..The Windy City
VegasDad says:
Happy Birthday to your beautiful little girl. She’s an amazing child.
VegasDad says:
Happy Birthday to your beautiful little girl. She’s an amazing child.
dysfunctional mom says:
Happy Birthday to Maddie. Happy Anniversary of Becoming a Mom to you!
dysfunctional moms last blog post..Wordless Wednesday ~ Butterfly Rainforest
Daddy Dan says:
Happy Birthday Maddie!
She is one amazing little baby! And your post brought tears to my eyes.
Daddy Dans last blog post..My Trip To Decatur
Amanda says:
Happy birthday, Maddie!
Raise your hand if you got teary-eyed!
*Raises hand*
Sarah says:
Happy Birthday, sweet little girl!
That was am amazing post – brought tears to my eyes!
Paunchiness says:
I’m glad everything turned out ok for you. I went to an appointment with my wife last monday and we weren’t so lucky. We’re going to take some time off and try again in a couple of months.
Congrats and Happy Baby Birthday!
Paunchinesss last blog post..Fish Oil – Weight Loss & Depression Benefits
Leslie says:
Happy birthday, Maddie! I will never forget the day you were born. You have been such a fun addition to our group of friends. You always manage to light up a room with your beautiful smile and beautiful eyes. I can’t wait to watch you grow up.
Erin says:
Late to the party, but crying with the rest of them. Happy Birthday Maddie!! And big smiles to Heather and Mike as well. Sending you all lots of love from the East;). xoxo
mariah says:
I wrote about my preemies story a few days ago. she will be 12 TOMORROW! Can’t believe it
mariahs last blog post..A Quickie…
Rebecca says:
Happy birthday to Maddy. Congratulations to you Heather and Mike.
La Petite Chic says:
Happy first birthday to your sweet baby girl!
La Petite Chics last blog post..Exhaling…
Anissa@Hope4Peyton says:
Oh heather…I know how long and short a year can seem. But what an amazing girl you have! She has stolen my heart and millions more to come.
Happy birthday, Maddie.
–That crazy stalkerish lady
Anissa@Hope4Peytons last blog post..Updates from the mentally battered
Heather, Queen of Shake Shake says:
Happy Birthday, sweet little Maddie!
Heather, Queen of Shake Shakes last blog post..Things I hate about the blogosphere
Stefanie says:
You made me cry hard through Zoloft. No small feat friend. Go Maddie!!!
Kristabella says:
Heather, this was such sweet post! For such a beautiful little girl! Happy birthday Maddie!
Kristabellas last blog post..Winter Wonderland
maggie, dammit says:
So beautiful.
Happy birthday, Madeline!
maggie, dammits last blog post..Love Letter
Jennie says:
Happy Birthday to sweet girl Maddie and to mommy & daddy too.
Bec says:
Happy birthday Maddie! And well done to your mama and daddy. I hope the coming year will be nice and smooth, no hospital visits and no scares. Oh, and lots and lots of eating on Maddie’s part
Becs last blog post..The good news
Rachel says:
Awww! What a miracle. The perfect story to stumble upon on Christmas morning.
sam {temptingmama} says:
I’ve been reading everything again. This is a beautiful post Heather. Beautiful.
Maddie is so lucky that you are her mommy. Always and forever, even if you are apart.
Love you!!!
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..And The World Keeps Spinning
kathy says:
Aww very beautiful post.
moosh in indy. » two would be today. says:
[...] woke up on the morning of Maddie’s birthday to this post from her mom. I went into their room sobbing. Maddie and Addie were oblivious. They were just stoked to have [...]