Comments on: 153 Holes in my Heart http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/the-famous-madeline/153-holes-in-my-heart/ Wed, 23 May 2012 12:18:56 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Rebecca http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/the-famous-madeline/153-holes-in-my-heart/#comment-24025 Rebecca Fri, 28 Aug 2009 13:01:31 +0000 http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/?p=253#comment-24025 Heather- It's funny.. I've never taken the time to think about this question because no one's ever asked- isn't it funny how much we overlook when our kids are sitting on the precipice of life? The things that stand out in my memory of my son's NICU experience is the most dramatic- I was unable to hold him, even touch him, until he was almost 3 days old. I wonder if that almost caused a disconnect in me because I've had a much harder time bonding with him then I had my daughter (I hate to even admit that) I know that the nurses full focus was on him and how to get him better, but thinking back, it would have been nice to have had someone there as my advocate too- as a parent and someone who had no idea what was going on. Not to be selfish, but just someone who could take the time to explain to me EXACTLY what was happening so I didn't feel so lost and alone. Thankfully my sister's a nurse and could decipher a lot of what we were being told, but most people don't even have that. It would have been nice to have someone there to check in on my husband and I, to keep an eye on our son and let us know at the earliest possible time, when would be safe to have held him. I know I'm not a medical professional, but I felt as though we were almost overlooked in terms of being able to touch him and be close to him, and though I understood their need to stabilize him, I felt like there were many opportunities we could have had to be close to him- to touch his skin and speak softly in his ear, where we weren't allowed to. And I'm not speaking badly of the NICU we were at, they were as caring and empathetic as they could possibly be with so many sick babies to care for... but I agree completely and totally that a parent advocate would be a great thing as well. One thing the NICU did that thrilled me- they gave us a blanket that was knitted by a local nursing home for the sick babies, and let me sleep with it- all curled up next to me, as though it were him, and after a few nights of sleeping with it, the NICU allowed me to put it next to him in his bed. If I couldn't be there sleeping next to him, at least something that had been close to me, could. We actually still have that blanket, and I can't look at it without tearing up. I'm beyond thankful that he's healthy today, but I don't think any of us go into this ride (pregnancy, birth, children) expecting anything like this to happen. So I can completely understand how PTSD would be a byproduct of all of the trauma. I could sit here and tell you how strong and amazing I think you are, but I'd venture to guess that you probably don't feel strong and amazing. But you are, Heather- you truly, truly are. I've been reading your blog since Maddie passed, and my biggest regret is not having found it sooner. Thank you Heather- and peace be with you, hon. *huge hug* Heather-
It’s funny.. I’ve never taken the time to think about this question because no one’s ever asked- isn’t it funny how much we overlook when our kids are sitting on the precipice of life?
The things that stand out in my memory of my son’s NICU experience is the most dramatic- I was unable to hold him, even touch him, until he was almost 3 days old. I wonder if that almost caused a disconnect in me because I’ve had a much harder time bonding with him then I had my daughter (I hate to even admit that) I know that the nurses full focus was on him and how to get him better, but thinking back, it would have been nice to have had someone there as my advocate too- as a parent and someone who had no idea what was going on. Not to be selfish, but just someone who could take the time to explain to me EXACTLY what was happening so I didn’t feel so lost and alone. Thankfully my sister’s a nurse and could decipher a lot of what we were being told, but most people don’t even have that. It would have been nice to have someone there to check in on my husband and I, to keep an eye on our son and let us know at the earliest possible time, when would be safe to have held him. I know I’m not a medical professional, but I felt as though we were almost overlooked in terms of being able to touch him and be close to him, and though I understood their need to stabilize him, I felt like there were many opportunities we could have had to be close to him- to touch his skin and speak softly in his ear, where we weren’t allowed to. And I’m not speaking badly of the NICU we were at, they were as caring and empathetic as they could possibly be with so many sick babies to care for… but I agree completely and totally that a parent advocate would be a great thing as well.
One thing the NICU did that thrilled me- they gave us a blanket that was knitted by a local nursing home for the sick babies, and let me sleep with it- all curled up next to me, as though it were him, and after a few nights of sleeping with it, the NICU allowed me to put it next to him in his bed. If I couldn’t be there sleeping next to him, at least something that had been close to me, could. We actually still have that blanket, and I can’t look at it without tearing up. I’m beyond thankful that he’s healthy today, but I don’t think any of us go into this ride (pregnancy, birth, children) expecting anything like this to happen. So I can completely understand how PTSD would be a byproduct of all of the trauma.
I could sit here and tell you how strong and amazing I think you are, but I’d venture to guess that you probably don’t feel strong and amazing. But you are, Heather- you truly, truly are. I’ve been reading your blog since Maddie passed, and my biggest regret is not having found it sooner.
Thank you Heather- and peace be with you, hon.
*huge hug*

]]> By: | The Spohrs Are Multiplying… | » We’re Gonna Make A Change http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/the-famous-madeline/153-holes-in-my-heart/#comment-23981 | The Spohrs Are Multiplying… | » We’re Gonna Make A Change Fri, 28 Aug 2009 07:54:56 +0000 http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/?p=253#comment-23981 [...] even unexpected for us the way it is for many parents. We watched Maddie undergo several procedures (especially Mike in the first few hours before I checked out of my hospital), and I saw other [...] [...] even unexpected for us the way it is for many parents. We watched Maddie undergo several procedures (especially Mike in the first few hours before I checked out of my hospital), and I saw other [...]

]]> By: Then She Said “Doctor, It Hurts When I Go Like THIS” | The Spohrs Are Multiplying http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/the-famous-madeline/153-holes-in-my-heart/#comment-1138 Then She Said “Doctor, It Hurts When I Go Like THIS” | The Spohrs Are Multiplying Wed, 21 Jan 2009 08:42:46 +0000 http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/?p=253#comment-1138 [...] My mom (St. Grandma) went with us to see Dr. Looove (Maddie also needed a shot, so I needed moral support). St. Grandma and I were talking about the doctors, and we noticed Maddie was listening intently to [...] [...] My mom (St. Grandma) went with us to see Dr. Looove (Maddie also needed a shot, so I needed moral support). St. Grandma and I were talking about the doctors, and we noticed Maddie was listening intently to [...]

]]> By: A Button On A Washboard | The Spohrs Are Multiplying http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/the-famous-madeline/153-holes-in-my-heart/#comment-1140 A Button On A Washboard | The Spohrs Are Multiplying Thu, 08 Jan 2009 09:25:39 +0000 http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/?p=253#comment-1140 [...] at those ab muscles (those spots up on the left are some of her chest tube scars). Those muscles aren’t just from crawling and growing - they’re from breathing. Her [...] [...] at those ab muscles (those spots up on the left are some of her chest tube scars). Those muscles aren’t just from crawling and growing – they’re from breathing. Her [...]

]]> By: JuliaS http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/the-famous-madeline/153-holes-in-my-heart/#comment-1142 JuliaS Wed, 24 Sep 2008 23:05:49 +0000 http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/?p=253#comment-1142 Touching post. I had NICU girlie too - one with scars, though not as extensive as your sweet little Maddie's. I tell my girl (who is now almost 12) that she is the toughest girl I know - she is sweet and kind, but she is tough through and through. It takes a truly strong spirit to endure what these little ones often do. Though, even now, she truly hates people messing with her feet. :0) Good wishes <abbr><em>JuliaSs last blog post..<a href="http://sevenangels7.blogspot.com/2008/09/to-tell-you-about-hannah.html" rel="nofollow">To Tell You About Hannah</a></abbr></em> Touching post. I had NICU girlie too – one with scars, though not as extensive as your sweet little Maddie’s. I tell my girl (who is now almost 12) that she is the toughest girl I know – she is sweet and kind, but she is tough through and through. It takes a truly strong spirit to endure what these little ones often do. Though, even now, she truly hates people messing with her feet. :0)

Good wishes

JuliaSs last blog post..To Tell You About Hannah

]]> By: AlexM http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/the-famous-madeline/153-holes-in-my-heart/#comment-1141 AlexM Sat, 16 Aug 2008 20:39:50 +0000 http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/?p=253#comment-1141 Your blog is interesting! Keep up the good work! AlexMs last blog post..<a href="http://street-streetmachine.blogspot.com/2008/08/emt-mobiil-id-flash-promo-site.html" rel="nofollow">EMT: Mobiil-ID flash promo site</a> Your blog is interesting!

Keep up the good work!

AlexMs last blog post..EMT: Mobiil-ID flash promo site

]]> By: Corinna Lyons-Revello http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/the-famous-madeline/153-holes-in-my-heart/#comment-1139 Corinna Lyons-Revello Mon, 28 Jul 2008 12:50:20 +0000 http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/?p=253#comment-1139 Beautifully written. I have a daughter myself and cannot imagine going through that kind of ordeal. It is my worst fear. The photo is so beautiful. Thanks for sharing that. Corinna www.myscrapbooklife.com Beautifully written. I have a daughter myself and cannot imagine going through that kind of ordeal. It is my worst fear. The photo is so beautiful. Thanks for sharing that.

Corinna
http://www.myscrapbooklife.com

]]> By: Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/the-famous-madeline/153-holes-in-my-heart/#comment-1137 Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants Sat, 26 Jul 2008 05:01:09 +0000 http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/?p=253#comment-1137 {{tears streaming}} Alli ~Mrs. Fussypantss last blog post..<a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/typepad/EasE/~3/345300840/fight-the-fru-2.html" rel="nofollow">Fight the Frump -Truthfulness in self portraiting</a> {{tears streaming}}

Alli ~Mrs. Fussypantss last blog post..Fight the Frump -Truthfulness in self portraiting

]]> By: iMommy http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/the-famous-madeline/153-holes-in-my-heart/#comment-1136 iMommy Mon, 21 Jul 2008 03:26:26 +0000 http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/?p=253#comment-1136 Oh goodness... what a precious girl, and what a hearbreaking story. I don't believe it will ever be less hurtful over time, but I hope that your family is always healthy and sound from this point forward. Best wishes to all of you.. and I'd just like to say that I am amazed by your strength, your courage, and also that of your family. Truly sobering - and it puts a whole different take on my frustrating day with my toddler. Thank you for sharing. iMommys last blog post..<a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/bYwy/~3/340996555/theres-new-four-letter-word-in-our.html" rel="nofollow">There's a new four letter word in our house...</a> Oh goodness… what a precious girl, and what a hearbreaking story. I don’t believe it will ever be less hurtful over time, but I hope that your family is always healthy and sound from this point forward. Best wishes to all of you.. and I’d just like to say that I am amazed by your strength, your courage, and also that of your family.

Truly sobering – and it puts a whole different take on my frustrating day with my toddler. Thank you for sharing.

iMommys last blog post..There’s a new four letter word in our house…

]]> By: Mama Kalila http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/the-famous-madeline/153-holes-in-my-heart/#comment-1135 Mama Kalila Sun, 20 Jul 2008 21:20:27 +0000 http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/?p=253#comment-1135 That was beautifully written... and made me bawl. I'm glad she is doing well now. Mama Kalilas last blog post..<a href="http://mamakalila.blogspot.com/2008/07/ill-keep-it-short-i-promise.html" rel="nofollow">I'll Keep It Short - I Promise</a> That was beautifully written… and made me bawl. I’m glad she is doing well now.

Mama Kalilas last blog post..I’ll Keep It Short – I Promise

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